Overheard At Penn State’s ‘Universal’ COVID-19 Testing Site
If you are back on campus for the spring semester, there’s a good chance that you have already heard about Penn State’s “universal” COVID-19 testing process.
Even though getting tested can be a stressful and serious process, you could still get a good laugh from your testing site to make it a little more bearable.
Here are some of the best things we’ve overheard at Penn State’s universal testing site this week.
Guy who is too much for COVID-19 to handle: “I definitely don’t have COVID.”
Girl who isn’t immune to the virus: “Fuck, I think I have COVID.”
Probably her roommate: “Well, shit. Then I have it too.”
Guy who is trying to break the awkward silence of waiting for test results: “What’s the point of scheduling if we have to wait half an hour?”
Someone who doesn’t like rule-breakers: “Any line cutting will get you removed from the site!”
Girl who wants to have a good time this weekend: “I test out tomorrow, and the people who have COVID are out of quarantine on Friday, so we are having a party this weekend.”
Guy operating under a false identity: “Oh, I accidentally used my friend’s barcode.”
Religious student when he realizes the line wrapped around to the HUB Parking Deck garage: “Jesus Christ!”
Guy who is trying to flirt: “Woah, this shirt would look much better on your bedroom floor.”
The girl he was flirting with: “I disagree.”
Girl who’s never picked her nose: “I need to shove this all the way up my nose? Are you kidding me? Gross.”
Guy who’s got his priorities straight: “Can’t believe I’m missing ‘The Bachelor’ for this. And our DVR broke!”
Girl who’s got her priorities straight, running back into the gym: “Wait! I forgot my free t-shirt!”
Guy who’s fondly missing the good ol’ days: “Man, I miss spitting in those tubes. Got a loogie all saved up for nothing.”
Girl who’s planning ahead: “I told my dad I’m giving up COVID for Lent and I think he believed me.”
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