Editor’s Note: Onward State does not endorse State Patty’s partying this year amid the coronavirus pandemic. This post simply reflects downtown stores’ yearly tradition of introducing new themed merchandise every year.

The notorious weekend between THON and (non-existent) spring break is upon us, folks.

State Patty’s is right around the corner, and local shops have all of the gear to keep you dripped out in green. McLanahan’s, the Student Book Store, and other downtown spots chose to sell all things green this year, but it’s important to remember that there’s still a global pandemic going on.

So, wear your green, pretend to be Irish, and keep your circle very tight this weekend. Check out our official 2021 State Patty’s Day apparel ranking before you head downtown and make your annual purchases.

10. ‘HVAF’ — Student Book Store

Happy Valley as fuck (?). Happy Valley and friends (?).

We don’t entirely know what that means, and for that reason, it’s ranked last. The color, design, and font are all great, but HVAF looks a little too close to HVAC for comfort.

9. Pabst Blue Ribbon ‘State Patty’s Day’ — Metro

This shirt is dope! However, it’s 2021, not 2019. If you’re willing to look past the date or love yourself some hipster beer, this is the shirt for you. The twist on the PBR logo is impressive, nonetheless.

8. Basic Green Tank — Urban Outfitters

Of course Urban isn’t a local shop, but the State College location sure does prepare for State Patty’s. There are cute green shirts all throughout the store this week. Every lady in State College owns some version of the Out From Under tank, but the seafoam color is a rare find.

7. Penn State Logo Hat — McLanahan’s

This one goes out to former Ice God Jake Zembiec who has repped this hat more times than once. Granted, every downtown shop has a version of this hat, so pick your location of choice to purchase this one.

6. ‘Happy Valley’ — Student Book Store

Sometimes it’s time to exchange the leprechaun green for a sharp, white tee. The shamrocks in place of where a “P” would be is quirky and subtle at the same time. Ever since Happy Valley was trademarked, it gives everyone a warm fuzzy feeling inside when you see it.

5. “Say Hello To My Little Friend” — McLanahan’s

We’re assuming this shirt is a nod to “Scarface,” and the leprechaun holding a leprechaun finger puppet is too darn cute. State Patty’s is an occasion where ~quirky~ shirts are totally acceptable, and this is the best one in downtown State College this year.

4. ‘I’m Here To Patty’ Hoodie — Family Clothesline

Ha! Patty! Instead of “party”! Puns are always an acceptable option.

Also, shirts that include locations on them are automatically cool. The lime four-leaf clover is an adorable detail, too. The design comes on sweatshirts, long sleeves, and short sleeves, so take a look at the forecast and make your pick.

3. ‘Farmers High School’ Hat — Student Book Store

While there isn’t anything exclusively State Patty’s about this hat, the green color is enough for it to be included in this ranking. It’s important to stay true to our Penn State roots and remember our agricultural background. Plus, it can be worn all year long.

2. Classic Penn State Shirt — Lion & Cub

Lion & Cub’s $9.99 mint green classic Penn State tee is the plot twist that State College needed this year. The minty seafoam is aesthetically pleasing and green enough that nobody is going to yell at you for not wearing enough green. The traditional Penn State logo won’t draw unnecessary attention but is special enough to get a handful of compliments here and there.

1. ‘State Patty’s Nittany Valley’ — Metro

The deep green tee is a lovely spin on the Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Whiskey logo. The design is simple, and the details are tasteful. The shirt includes phrases such as, “State Patty’s: A State College Tradition,” “Live, Love, Drink & Prosper,” and “Nittany Valley: Gimme A Reason To Party.”

My personal favorite is “A Fabricated Tradition Since 2007.” We’ve never seen Pennsylvania abbreviated “Penna.” on a t-shirt, but there’s a first for everything.