This is March.

If you follow college basketball, you probably know who Jon Rothstein is. The CBS Sports insider is best known for his electric Twitter account, which features his many “Rothsteinisms.” Basically, if your favorite hoops team is worthy enough, Rothstein will tweet out a creative saying after every win. You might remember the one (1) time it happened to Penn State last year.

Pat Chambers. Bring on Everest.

— Jon Rothstein (@JonRothstein) February 27, 2020

Now that March is upon us and Penn State’s basketball teams are gearing up for postseason play, we figured we’d go ahead and repurpose some Rothsteinisms for our favorite Penn State things. Heck, maybe one will actually get used.

‘The Penn State White Out. A Thing Of Beauty.’

While this slogan usually belongs to Virginia’s basketball team, it certainly applies to the best atmosphere in college football as well. Even as a hoops guy, Rothstein would certainly appreciate a night under the lights in Happy Valley.

‘Anarchy? Nope. Just Canyon Past Midnight.’

College basketball isn’t anarchy, Jon. However, trying to get a slice of pizza after a night out is. Everyone knows how wild the crowds near Canyon can get. Other anarchic things at Penn State: LionPATH, the Blue Loop schedule, and, well, the men’s basketball team.

‘The Lady Lions. More Locked In Than A CPA On April 14.’

Who could forget Penn State women’s basketball’s iconic #LockedIn social media campaign? While this Rothsteinism usually belongs to Indiana’s Archie Miller, we think the Lady Lions could use some recognition too.

‘The Berkey Creamery. A Fortune 500 Company.’

Move over, Villanova basketball. It’s time for Penn State’s iconic Berkey Creamery to shine. Everyone knows how busy the Creamery can get, especially during football weekends. With the amount of ice cream that place is pumping out, we wouldn’t be surprised if it scratched a Forbes list.

‘SUE ******* PATERNO’

This lady is just electric, folks. I mean, who could forget Paterno’s surprise appearance at THON 2021? While yelling and cursing in all caps may be the only way for Rothstein to describe Bobby Hurley, this is the only way we can adequately describe SuePa.

‘Russ Rose. More Consistent Than A Few Good Men On A Rainy Sunday.’

While UCLA’s Mick Cronin may be pretty damn consistent, nobody is more consistent than Penn State women’s volleyball coach Russ Rose. He’s appeared in every NCAA Tournament (and won seven!) for crying out loud.

‘Death. Taxes. The Old Main Bell Tower.’

Sorry Matt Painter, but this thing just never stops dinging.

ding Ding & ding! Ding^ Ding, ding* #PennState #BlackLivesMatter #JusticeForAll

— OldMainBell (@OldMainBell) March 8, 2021

‘Atherton Street. More Adjustments Than A Chiropractor.’

Seton Hall’s Kevin Willard surely is a creative coach, but nothing makes more adjustments than State College’s own Atherton Street. That thing is always under construction. An honorable mention goes to downtown State College, which is also forever-changing.

‘Parker Washington. Buy Stock Now.’

There’s almost no other freshman at Penn State as exciting as this young wide receiver. Honorable mentions go to Keyvone Lee, Annie Cate Fitzpatrick, Maddie Burke, and Seth Lundy.

‘Beaver Stadium. Welcome To The Jungle.’

We’re sure Auburn basketball is pretty electric, but there’s nothing like a football game at a jam-packed Beaver Stadium. Trying to get in the student section? Welcome to the jungle, baby. The Tigers will come to Happy Valley next fall to get a taste of Penn State’s jungle.

‘Hiking Mount Nittany. Tougher Than A Long Weekend At Your In-Laws’.”

OK, hiking Mount Nittany isn’t that hard, but it will certainly kick the ass of those unexpecting its steep incline.

John Harrar. Glue Guy.

Wait, this one might actually be real.

John Harrar. Glue Guy.

— Jon Rothstein (@JonRothstein) February 6, 2021