Dear 8-year-old Lexy, 

You don’t know this now, but you’ll learn that it’s hard to take on a position when no one that looks like you has been in the position before. You start to think about the things you’ll have to worry about that others may not have before. Will you be able to afford groceries this week? Will you be in a room conversing with all White administrators? The questions are random. And yet, they are your stream of consciousness while you are at Penn State. 

Growing up, you were one of very few people of color in your school district. You lived in a predominantly white neighborhood, went to a predominantly white school district, and grew up with two immigrant parents who wanted you to succeed. Without realizing it at the time, you felt alone. There weren’t many Indian kids in your school who spoke the same language as your family or practiced the same religion. You couldn’t find someone to confide in while you were growing up as the youngest and only daughter in your family. 

You came to Penn State, joined the UPUA, also known as the University Park Undergraduate Association, and were placed into a bubble. You couldn’t imagine that the loneliness would get worse.

“She’s basically white.”

“She calls herself a person of color but acts so white. I don’t get it.”

These were things that classmates and coworkers would say behind your back. You were facing an internal conflict where you weren’t “brown” enough to belong in the Indian community or didn’t act “white” enough to belong in the white community. Your culture was being forcefully removed by people who didn’t even know you. 

On top of this, you had never realized how differently you would feel being a woman in a professional setting, let alone a woman of color in a predominantly white space. You had to learn to stand up for yourself. 

You knew taking on a leadership position at Penn State would not be a small feat. On top of all of this, there were members who ultimately made the UPUA exclusive. If you didn’t have the “right” friends, you were viewed differently in the organization. Or you were viewed as a token to them by being in the organization. You didn’t feel welcome. 

Not only were you having an internal struggle, but experiencing external barriers that would hinder the way you viewed yourself. It ultimately led to sleepless nights and a lot of doubt, as well as being driven away from fellow members of the organization. You were lost and questioning if it was worth continuing to pursue leadership at Penn State. 

But there’s a mantra that you learned and that held true in your life: If it makes you scared, it might change your life. If you can contribute a little bit of change that could change the future for the better for others, do it. Although there were elitist members and systemic barriers, you knew that the UPUA was an organization that could do so much good with driven and inclusionary leadership. 

This is when you knew you were going to run with your best friend, Zach McKay. 

In your time as the director of outreach, chair of outreach, and vice president, your entire reason for being at Penn State was to make it more inclusive for minoritized groups on campus. The entire UPUA was not advocating for these communities, and you knew your goal was to make sure that this was a part of UPUA’s foundational mission before you left. You wanted to make sure no one experienced the same loneliness that you once did.

As you are now a senior and graduating in only a few weeks, you know that you’ve tried your best to fight and change the systemic issues. But, it’s not only you. There are so many students on campus doing this work. They are doing it through activism, policy, and grassroots work. And you know students to come will continue this; the work is never done. 

Although not all your experiences have been positive, you have learned to be prideful of Penn State. This is where you will grow. This is where you will learn to disregard people’s opinions of yourself and value your own more. This is where you will challenge yourself the most. This place will have a lasting impact on your heart. 

You will cherish the days you come back as a graduate. You will continue to say your warm and fuzzy greetings as an alumna and encourage future students to make their mark. You will continue to yell “We Are” to any Penn Stater you see around the world. Penn State will hold a special place in your heart because it’s the place that showed you the true force you are in the world. 

The words of advice that I, 22-year-old Lexy, would give to any student at Penn State who feels like the little man (or woman) is: your voice matters more than you know. Strive to be inclusive in everything you do — not only in the workplace but also in your personal life and in your friendship circles. Do not let anyone come between you and your personal morals. And learn to give yourself validation and grace; do not rely on anyone, anything, or any group to do so for you. And ultimately, make the 8-year-old in you proud. 

It has been one of the greatest privileges of my life to serve you as your UPUA student body vice president. I look forward to seeing you all again under the Beaver Stadium lights — hopefully, sooner rather than later. To the resilient Class of 2021: love you forever and see you soon! 

Love, 
22-year-old Lexy