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Scoop, There It Is: Tag Team Partners With Berkey Creamery For New Promotion

Editor’s note: This story is part of Onward State’s April Fools series. It is satirical, meant for entertainment, and not to be taken literally. Any quotes were made up for the purpose of this post.

Thought you couldn’t get enough of America’s favorite GEICO commercial? Think again, baby.

That’s right, folks. 90s hip hop/pop-rap duo Tag Team has officially partnered with Penn State’s Berkey Creamery to sell more ice cream and boost morale as its workers return to scooping this spring.

The brand deal, in its entirety, is pretty simple. DC “The Brain Supreme” Glenn and Steve “Rolln” Gibson will hang out at the Creamery six days a week to perform their hit parody track, “Scoop! (There It Is),” on repeat.

Akin to GEICO’s iconic mantra, those who can listen to Tag Team for 15 minutes straight will receive a coupon to save 15% on their car insurance Creamery order. Not too shabby!

“We’re incredibly proud to partner with DC and Steve to bring this beloved song to Happy Valley,” said Jim Brown, creamery sales and marketing manager. “Nothing gets the people going like America’s favorite GEICO commercial. We’re just happy to have them!”

Likewise, Gibson, a Colorado native, was appreciative of how welcoming Penn State was right out the gate.

“I love being in Happy Valley,” Gibson said. “Who knew our GEICO commercial would blow up like this? And man, this school’s ice cream is GOOD! We’ve actually asked to get paid in pints, not dollars.”

Glenn and Gibson worked hard on their first day on the job Thursday, according to a few Creamery employees. Between performances, the duo recommended flavors to customers by shouting some varieties included in the lyrics, including “FRENCH VANILLA, ROCKY ROAD, CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER, COOKIE DOUGH!”

Sadly, the Creamery doesn’t explicitly carry a few of those flavors. Maybe Tag Team could slip in a Peachy Paterno reference once in a while?

Anyway, after a few hours, Tag Team’s nonstop performances began wearing a little thin. When the duo took a lunch break, Onward State spoke to one Creamery scooper who seemed distraught.

“I can’t stop thinking about that damn song. Scoop, there it is, scoop, there it is, scoop, there it is…” said one Creamery employee who asked to remain anonymous out of fear of repercussions from top brass. “I can’t take it anymore. This partnership is for a year. A whole YEAR! How am I gonna make it 364 more days?”

Well, folks, we’ll keep you up to date on Tag Team’s partnership with the Creamery as it blossoms over the next year. Perhaps by then, we’ll be tired of the parody. But for now, we’ll gladly keep jamming along.

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About the Author

Matt DiSanto

Matt is a junior majoring in journalism and Onward State's managing editor. He's a huge Philadelphia sports fan, fantasy football aficionado, and washed-up drummer hailing from Collegeville, Pa. The quickest way to his heart is Margherita pizza. He loves Seinfeld, is really into video games, and would wipe the floor with you in Halo. Follow him on Twitter @mattdisanto_ for bad sports takes or email him at [email protected]

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