Things Easier Than Connecting To HUB Lawn Wi-Fi

Now that the weather is consistently reaching the high 70s, students flock to the HUB Lawn to do nothing and tan attend virtual lectures and complete their homework. While the addition of the big, white tent has increased seating and shade tremendously, there’s still one big problem…It is nearly impossible to connect to the HUB Lawn’s Wi-Fi.

Your laptop will connect automatically once in a while, but 95% of the time, you’re forced to use your rich friend’s hotspot or run into a nearby building to connect. Quite frankly, there is nothing worse than seeing the “PSU Wireless” notification appear on your laptop screen five minutes before your live lecture begins.

To put the inconvenience of the task into perspective, we compiled a list of things that are easier to do than connecting to HUB Lawn Wi-Fi.

Scoring LineLeap Tickets

If you haven’t ever had your heart drop to the absolute lowest depths of your stomach when you’ve failed to get LineLeap tickets, you haven’t felt real pain. No matter what you do ahead of time, no matter how many people you have huddled around the LineLeap app at 4 a.m., getting LineLeap for a prime weekend spot is equivalent to climbing Mt. Everest.

Still, though, it doesn’t compare to trying to connect to the HUB Lawn Wi-Fi on a nice afternoon day.

Scheduling On LionPATH At Midnight

Between LionPATH crashing and clicking one wrong button, scheduling classes for the upcoming semester is daunting. Even if you’re lucky enough to click through without technical difficulties, it is unlikely that you land a seat in all of the classes that you need. Behold the notorious “waitlist.”

Landing An Internship Via LinkedIn

For those of us who don’t have a Bob Martin in our lives, we’re forced to resort to LinkedIn to beg apply for summer internships. Successfully being an early applicant is a rarity, and expanding your network to random alumni is always awkward.

Waking Up For An 8 a.m. Class

Even when you can roll out of bed and attend class, this shit still sucks. If you can watch the live lecture later in the day, there’s really no motivation to get your ass up and sit at your desk. Still, getting up for one is easier than scoring a HUB Lawn Wi-Fi connection.

Turning Left Into Chick-Fil-A On North Atherton

There is only one thing worse than North Atherton construction, and it’s turning left into Chick-Fil-A. Is it allowed? No. Does the entirety of State College do it? Yes.

Folks love their cool wraps with a side of avocado lime ranch dressing so much that they’re willing to step on the gas and hope that the accelerating cars heading south don’t smash into them.

Thinking Of A Fun Fact About Yourself On The First Day Of Class

If you don’t have a twin or you’ve never met James Franklin downtown, chances are first-day-of-class ice breakers haunt you. Your life flashes before your eyes when the professor asks you to share one, and you’re forced to pretend like you’ve never been to the Creamery despite being a Penn State student. Thinking of a fun fact about yourself is up there with particle physics.

Locating Your Friends Outside Of Gate A

Oh, to be lost outside of Beaver Stadium!

This year, freshmen got their first glimpse into the gameday experience at the Blue-White practice event and experienced the maze that is Gate A. There’s no feasible way to locate your friends when everyone is dressed head to toe in blue and white. Telling them to “meet you by the rock” has a better chance of working than connecting to HUB Lawn Wi-Fi, though.

Scoring A Table Outside BBH

The tables outside the BBH Building are perfect for tanning, and the wind tunnel makes the experience even better. That said, students snatch up those tables quicker than the ones on the patio outside the HUB. You need to stalk the movements of a group sitting at a table and swoop in when their body language indicates they’re getting up to leave.

Predicting When the Blue Loop Will Arrive

Even though CATA traffic has significantly decreased this year, those buses are still never on time. It’s a guessing game. Will the Bloop arrive before or after the amount of time it would’ve taken you to walk to your destination? Still, you’re probably better off guessing than connecting to HUB Lawn Wi-Fi.

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About the Author

Colleen Nersten

Colleen is a washed-up biology grad and former associate editor. Her legacy will live on through stories like “10 Questions With State College Sensation ‘Hot UPS Bae’”. If you’re a STEM girlie, this is your sign to take the leap of faith and learn to write. It’s pretty fun. Colleen misses the hate mail and can be reached at [email protected] or via LinkedIn.

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