No, not that kind of coke.

Back in the 90s, former Penn State President Joab Thomas signed a 10-year, $14 million deal with Pepsi to make it the official fizzy drink of Happy Valley.

Since then (and following a few extensions), only Pepsi products have flowed through the dining halls. Vending machines are exclusively stocked with Mountain Dew, Sierra Mist, and Tropicana pink lemonade, and no other beverage brand has seen its name on the scoreboard in Beaver Stadium. If you’re craving a Coke on campus, you’re shit out of luck (unless you were feeling ballsy a decade ago.)

Alas, Penn State has a tremendous opportunity ahead of it. The terms of the Pepsi agreement are set to expire on June 30, 2022, meaning the university could switch to the superior soda brand.

After nearly 30 years, it’s time for Pepsi’s reign to come to an end. Cut the crap, Penn State. I want a damn Coke.

Sure, back in 1992 it might’ve made sense for Penn State to choose Pepsi over Coca-Cola. Pepsi outbid Coke, and the university used the money from the new contract to build the Bryce Jordan Center. We get it. Penn State was in a pinch and needed some quick cash, and signing the Pepsi contract was the university’s way of selling plasma for beer money.

But that was 30 years ago, and a lot has happened since then. To be honest, Penn State could use a beverage revamp. With Neeli Bendapudi set to take office in May, ditching the Pepsi contract could be the perfect way to kick off a new era in Happy Valley.

Dr. Bendapudi, if you’re reading this, I want to share a Coke with you.

How could you say no to that?

If I were the Pepsi contract, I’d be shaking in my boots. Its days are numbered…or so I hope. If Penn State fumbles the bag, I guess it’s rum & Pepsis or Spin-biking to McLanahan’s until 2032. Sigh.