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Your Worst Penn State Date Stories

Last week, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day (or not), we asked you to send us your worst date stories from the city of love, State College. You really hit us with some rough ones. Between stories from 30 years ago and some from just this semester, dating as a Penn Stater isn’t always smooth sailing.

We’ve compiled a few of our favorite stories Penn Staters sent in. Hopefully, you singles out there will feel better about your potential (lack of) Valentine’s Day plans after hearing these horror stories.

Adam

Adam met a girl at the Gaff one night and thought they were hitting it off. Taking turns buying each other drinks, flirting, promising body language — he even walked her home! Clearly, things were going well…or so he thought.

Unfortunately for Adam, when they finally arrived at the girl’s bedroom she explained that “not only did she not like guys, but she had a girlfriend.”

He was a good sport about it, though, and he says he went home and laughed about it. 

Kate

Kate once went on a “romantic” walk through downtown State College with a guy. We can picture it now: The gray sky acting as a backdrop for the red-brick sidewalks and red-brick high rises. It’s beautiful, really.

The night took a turn when Kate’s date showed her not one, but two of their professors’ houses. Because that’s impressive knowledge to have, right?

While she survived the date, Kate still wonders if he took her there in “an ‘I stalk them online’ kind of way or an ‘I stalk you online” kind of way”. 

Chad

In their first few months of dating, Chad planned every date for his now-wife of 20 years, Kate. The couple loves to help others, so the first time his wife planned a date, it was to give blood together at the HUB.

Chad says the date was going great until he decided to prematurely stand up for a cookie and “hit the floor like a bloodless sack of potatoes” in a blood loss-induced blackout.

Naturally, Kate hasn’t been on date-planning duty since.

Jim

Jim, an alum from the Class of 1987, took a girl from one of his classes out to a few bars downtown, and they had a great time.

On their way back, however, Jim and his date ran into his actual girlfriend and a few of her sorority sisters. Yikes!

Parker

Parker went on an ice skating date as a non-ice skater, which can usually be pretty cute if the other person can teach you. Her date, a self-proclaimed ice skating pro thanks to his experience on his middle school junior varsity hockey team, led her quickly around a corner and straight into a wall. 

On their second date — yes, there was a second date — he invited her to dinner with his roommates but ended up trying to Netflix and Chill, instead. Parker decided she’d had enough of him and took the “CATA bus ride of shame” home. 

‘A Broken-Hearted Soul’

Excited for an aesthetically pleasing date at Webster’s, this guy wound up with a broken heart.

His date made him pay for food and coffee but soon ditched him for another guy.

“That hot chocolate tasted bitter,” he said. “Worst date!”

Angelina

Enticed by the promise of cake, Angelina attended a birthday party for an upperclassman she met in one of her classes. Except when she got there, there not only was no cake but there was no party, either. 

Since it was the guy’s birthday, Angelina stayed to watch “National Treasure” with him, during which he made a tasteful Declaration of Independence-themed penis joke and tried to make a move on her. 

She claims it’s a “funny story that haunts me even four years later.”

Shannon

In her freshman year, Shannon went out with a finance major. On one of their dates, he invited forced her to watch “Wolf of Wall Street” with him because it was his favorite movie. Typical.

Anna

Anna’s first college boyfriend wanted to take her on a romantic Valentine’s Day date. Despite planning on breaking up with him soon, she agreed. Who would pass up free dinner?

One tiny issue with his romantic gesture arose when he forgot to make a reservation for a restaurant. Because every place downtown was understandably packed, the pair ended up at Panera. Here, he tried to kiss Anna right outside the doorway that people were actively trying to walk through. Smooth.

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About the Author

Megan Dougherty

Megan Dougherty is a sophomore majoring in English from Montgomeryville, Pennsylvania. She loves making music, is slightly addicted to coffee, and can explain the backstory of every Taylor Swift song to you (whether you ask for it or not). Follow her on Twitter @megandoc13 if you enjoy bad jokes and hearing about her niche interests.

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