We’re back, folks. Welcome home to Happy Valley!

This week consisted of starting new habits, spending too much money on textbooks, and getting ~sylly.~ As Sylly Week comes to an end, we compiled some of the best quotes we heard on campus this week.

From unhinged professors to TAs with exciting fun facts, we heard it all from Penn Staters just like you. Without further ado, let’s dive right in.

Professor that just wants the tests to get done: “Exams are on Canvas. I don’t care. If you want to Google an answer, do it.”

A new icebreaker game: “Addison Rae or Charli D’Amelio?”

Boy on the phone who is having a good day, but his tuition is not: “I’m good, but Penn State canceled my financial aid.”

TA that will never lose Two Truths and a Lie: “A fun fact about me is that I was shot. Yes, with a gun.”

An artsy physiology professor: “Here’s a painting of a guy with big muscles and less than ideal sized genitals.”

The same physiology professor that followed up with another banger of a quote: “Let’s say I came face to face with a bear. Would I have an erection? Probably not.”

Girl with strong priorities: “I don’t really care if I’m late. It’s the first day.”

Simple professor with one simple rule: “Classroom conduct? Just be cool.”

Professor that’s keeping it real: “There is no textbook for this class because it’s too expensive.”

Harsh professor who makes an exception for one thing: “People always ask — do I give extra credit? The short answer is no, I don’t. But, if you can turn me on to a really good fishing spot where I can catch lots of big fish, yeah, that will help your grade.”

Honorable Mention: The kid we saw wearing a shirt that said “I’m a SIMP,” but simp spells out “Skeleton in Magical Pajamas.”