Vape flavors can be pretty odd. Apart from the typical fruit flavors, you’ll find people hitting neon disposables like purple rain or lush ice.

Now, imagine asking someone if you could hit their vape and they pulled out a McLanahan’s Meatball Monday-flavored vape instead of the classic blue razz. Hilarious.

We couldn’t help but wonder what Penn State flavors could make their way into the nicotine scene. So, naturally, we brainstormed some of our favorite Penn State things as vape flavors.

Peachy Paterno

Everyone knows Peach Paterno is the best ice cream available at the Berkey Creamery. It only seemed fair to make it into a vape flavor, too. It’s no different from a normal peach vape. It just has some pretty packaging.

Campus Morning Cow Manure

There’s nothing like waking up with a hangover after you stayed a little too late at Country Night and smelling the scrumptious scent of cow shit on the walk to class.

We know all too well that this scent lingers across our beautiful campus. It’s comforting in a way.

For marketing purposes, we would place the cows in front of Old Main. The vape juice would taste grassy and a little assy.

Cheese Pizza From Canyon

First of all, RIP. We hated to see Canyon Pizza go, but this is a no-brainer. Of course, who wouldn’t want Canyon Pizza as their drunk vape flavor of choice? For now, this flavor would be sold in remembrance and respect for the beloved pizza shop at 2 a.m.

The flavor would be greasy, garlicky, and include a subtle hint of ranch. Oh, the memories.

Grilled Stickies

This one is for all the dads who quit smoking cigarettes but chase that nic fix after one night out in State College. Grilled stickies are nostalgic af.

The sweet and sticky delicacy is mouthwatering, after all. There’s no doubt that this would be a top-selling hit. Folks would be lining up at the MinitMart for these icons.

Happy Valley Snow

No, not that kind of snow.

With the first snowstorm under our belts, Happy Valley Snow is timely. It’s a tasteful mix between a subtle flavor that everyone loves and a notable Penn State winter. Even if this was a seasonal flavor, students would find enjoyment in a straightforward mint flavor.

Dirty Sprite

We can’t explain this, but if your favorite State College bar is Champs, you also probably vape.

This vape would be a partnership that Champs couldn’t possibly turn down. Fortunately, Champs-lovers are dedicated individuals, so they would certainly support the cause.

Imagine the head high you’d get after sucking in some air that tastes like grape, blue curaçao, cranberry juice, and sprite.

Holy Water

It’s like a celebrity prayer candle but better. The Willard Preacher Holy Water vape would be refreshing and blessed. The flavor would resemble a plain seltzer with a hint of burnt incense. After one hit, you’ll be praying.

Disclaimer: Onward State does not encourage vaping in any way. This is for satirical purposes only.