We’re so back.

Another semester has come and gone, and it’s already time to begin the spring 2023 semester. Whether you’re uberly prepared for what’s to come or drove back to school this morning, Sylly Week isn’t stopping for anyone.

In typical Onward State fashion, we compiled a list of prop bets to make your first day of class go by quickly.

For those not familiar with prop bets, Onward State co-founder Evan Kalikow put it best: “A prop bet is short for proposition bet. Basically, it’s a bet on something not commonly betted upon. For example, lots of people bet on the score of the Super Bowl, but how many people bet on how many times the winning coach will say ‘humbled’ in the post-game press conference? That’s a prop bet.”

It’s important to note, however, Onward State is NOT a gambling site, and none of these bets are real whatsoever. We don’t encourage or promote gambling, but we do encourage having fun. Lots of it, actually.

So, let’s get into it.

Prop Bets

• Someone in your 9 a.m. is tired because they drove back from The Palestra last night: 20-1
• Your professor makes a joke about Sean Clifford being old: 30-1
• The pipes in your 1950s college house burst over break: 80-1
• Oops, you’re hungover: 15-1
• Trader Joe’s is out of your favorite item: 7-1
• Your roommate goes to the gym for the first and last time as a student (#NewYearNewMe): 25-1
• Someone wears a Franco Harris jersey to class: 34-1
• Early enrollee Alex Birchmeier posts a photo Setting The Standard in class: 3-1
• Someone convinced you to eat at Cafe because nobody has groceries yet: 21-1
• Sean Clifford proposes to his girlfriend while in Iceland: 14-1
• Your STEM professor explains Damar Hamlin’s injury: 40-1
• You grab a coffee from the South Garner Street Starbucks for the last time: 16-1
• Home friends ask you to hang out thinking you’re still on break: 22-1
• The token farmer kid misses class for the PA Farm Show: 17-1
• Your cough turns out to be COVID-19: 6-1

Over/ Under

• Rose Bowl shirts spotted: 45.5
• People bragging about their trip to Pasadena: 23.5
• Nick Singleton/Saquon Barkley comparisons: 3.5
• Stanley cups sipped in class: 15.5
• Total Cafe pitchers sold: 600.5
• Girls spotted wearing new Aritzia Super Puffs: 11.5
• Minutes waiting in line at Champs for the National Championship: 10.5
• Coffees bought by each student: 1.5
• People who don’t believe “Storm Duck” is a real football player: 8.5
• Total Penn State Law schools by the end of the day: 1.5
• Seniors reflecting on their last first day of classes on social media: 100.5
• Students psychotically wearing shorts to class: 20.5
• Textbooks bought: 500.5
• James Franklin sightings around campus and downtown: 2.5