Five-Star Bronny James Commits To Penn State Hoops
In a stunning turn of events, Bronny James declared his commitment to Penn State men’s basketball Saturday morning.
The Class of 2023 star combo guard and LeBron James’ oldest son’s commitment has been whispered about for years, and the shocking decision is sure to be scrutinized by some. But Penn State fans rejoice, your basketball savior has seemingly arrived.
A recent bump to five-star status from the Sierra Canyon School senior will undoubtedly help the Nittany Lions rebuild in the beginning of the Mike Rhoades era.
“I want to start my own legacy somewhere, and after a lot of thought and consideration, I want that to be at Penn State,” James said.
James recently announced his top three choices: Oregon, USC, and Ohio State. To everyone’s surprise, Penn State locked in as his fourth pick. According to reports, James disliked former head coach Micah Shrewsberry, but Rhoades’ hire was all the five-star needed to make up his mind.
“[Shrewsberry] did you guys dirty, but don’t worry, I’m here to save the day,” James said.
James has all of his father’s athleticism, is a dominant defender, and is a full-fledged three-point shooting threat. James scored 15 points in the McDonald’s All-American Game last week and placed second in the All-American slam dunk contest.
James expressed his excitement for his next four years as a Nittany Lion in a press conference Saturday morning following his decision.
“Happy Valley is the place to be,” James said. “I hear there’s beautiful weather, first-rate cuisine, and almost never any road work.”
Moreover, James sees endless opportunities at Penn State to blaze his own trail.
“I wanted to come create my own legacy as a Nittany Lion and raise a banner — nothing Mickey Mouse about it,” James said.
James’ commitment marks the first of a rejuvenated Class of 2023 group, previously decimated by Shrewsberry’s departure. This will also be Rhoades’ first commitment since his hiring on March 29.
Editor’s note: This story is part of Onward State’s April Fools’ Day series. It is satirical, meant for entertainment, and not to be taken literally. Any quotes were made up for the purpose of this post.
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There were 39,366 ballots cast out of 100,759 registered voters, according to the county’s unofficial results.
“We’re going to use that strength, and we’re going to pressure, and that’s Penn State basketball.”
“We need KeAndre to take the next step, Dante, the tight ends to take the next step, because we’re going to have to make some plays in the passing game.”