As you walk through the HUB with your freshly prepared lunch or ready to get some homework done, you’ll notice one thing: there’s nowhere to sit.

Ah yes, the lunch rush at the HUB really is a nightmare for all those looking to actually sit and enjoy their free time.

As you wander the multiple floors, fight through the mile-long Starbucks line, and attempt to get out of earshot from someone playing the piano, you eventually give up and just take your lunch back to your room once again. Since there is so much difficulty in simply finding a seat in the HUB, we compiled some things that are easier to do instead.  

Walk Up Shortlidge Road 

I do not care how in shape you think you are… the walk up Shortlidge Road will humble you immediately. The feeling when living on campus and going downtown for a great night out, only to have to walk up that monstrosity of a hill, is a fear you didn’t know you had. If you must endure this walk in your daily routine, at least you won’t feel bad skipping leg day in the gym. Although the hill is steep, it is still easier than finding a seat at the HUB. 

Score Football Season Tickets 

This event is the definition of anxiety. Whether you have one device or 12, the hunt for the beloved student football tickets is nothing short of the real-life Hunger Games. Securing season tickets is worth countless bragging rights and saves you a season’s worth of headaches.

It is not only despicable to make college students wake up at 6:30 in the morning during summer vacation but to deal with the ever-treacherous application that is Ticketmaster is one of the most frustrating tasks a Penn State student can endure. As a two-time season ticket holder, though, I can say that obtaining one of these tickets is still easier than finding a seat to eat your lunch.  

Avoid The Penn State Plague 

It is mandatory that you get sick in the first month when returning to Penn State. It happens to everyone and if you say otherwise, you’re a liar.

It’s the same story at the start of each semester, you come back and you’re all excited until the kiss of death hits you when you least expect it. You wake up one day with the dreaded sore throat. You panic, drink some water, and put down an awful number of vitamins, but you soon realize it’s too late. You then spiral down a depressing and unavoidable collection of symptoms until you finally reach the other side in about a week. Avoiding this is certainly impossible, but not as impossible as finding a seat in the HUB.

Get Into A Frat Party As A Guy 

This is a touchy subject for me but makes the list. As a young man who’s not involved in Greek life, I found out very quickly that my chances of getting into a frat party were slim to none.

I’ve fallen victim to the infamous question, “Where’s your wristband?” many times. As someone who wasn’t given a wristband, you just have to shamefully walk away, maybe play it off, and act like you’re leaving the party instead to save any shred of dignity you have left. You could know every brother, their hometown, and their favorite color, but there is very little chance you and your boys are getting into those parties.

Ladies, I hope it was a blast. Boys, all you can do is rally and try something else. Although this task seems impossible, you have a better chance of finding a secret, abandoned tunnel into the frat party than you do finding a seat in the HUB.

Get Cell Service In Beaver Stadium On Gameday 

There is nothing more painful than trying to text your friend that you’re out by Gate A, but getting the dreaded “not delivered” message on your phone. You feel helpless as you realize there’s no way for you to find your friends unless you happen to run into them. For all you know, they could be trying to text you that they have a seat already and want you to meet them in the stadium.

You would think that calling would be better? Wrong. There are very few times when a phone call will reach your friend. If it does happen to reach them and you get an answer, between the speakers blasting lion roars, the other 110,000 people, and your awful connection, you won’t hear a word they say.

My analysis? Investing in a messenger pigeon to get in contact with your friend would be the way to go. Although cell service is lacking in Beaver Stadium on Saturdays, it is still a much easier task than managing to find a seat in the HUB.