Staff Picks: Best Places To Hide At Penn State During A Zombie Apocalypse
In the heart of Happy Valley lies not just the roar of the Nittany Lions but the whispered secrets of survival.
When a zombie apocalypse descends upon Penn State, knowing where to hide is as crucial as acing that final exam. Forget about the zombie-infested HUB, we’ve scoured every nook and cranny of this beloved campus to unveil the best hiding spots that will have you shouting “We Are… survivors!”
From the depths of East Halls to the top of the Old Main bell tower, this guide will ensure you navigate the undead invasion with ease. So, lace up your sneakers, grab your backpack, and get ready to outwit a pack of zombies in the most unexpected corners of Penn State — because when it comes to staying alive, our Nittany Lion instincts kick in!
Aidan Conrad: Old Main
As a longtime fan of “The Walking Dead,” I understand what makes a good place a good place to hide in a zombie apocalypse. If the world came to it, I would honestly leave State College because it is far too heavily populated to live safely. For the sake of keeping it Penn State-themed, I will make Old Main my new home and will protect it with my life.
Old Main gives you the best view of State College from the bell tower, so you have a great lookout for incoming danger. Another plus is that once I have the building fortified, I will quite literally be the king of Penn State. Yes, guarding such a big building is a risk, but the payoff of being the one to take over Old Main would totally be worth it.
Alex Waterman: Pollock Testing Center
If there was a zombie apocalypse, I would hide in the Pollock Testing Center because its security is stronger than the FBI and the Department of Defense combined. Worried the zombies might follow you inside? Don’t worry — the staff at the testing center won’t let them through until their phones have been turned off and hidden inside their backpacks.
Evan Halfen: Underground Tunnels In East Halls
Given that not many people know that tunnels exist beneath the depths of East Halls, I think it’s safe to say that it would be the most ideal hiding spot during a zombie apocalypse. Although they’re closed off, I’m sure I can find my way into the underground maze. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up fighting off zombies, Walking Dead-style, which sounds pretty sick to me.
Mikey DeAngelis: Wagner Building
While I’ve never been inside the heart of the Wagner Building, I know it’s where the ROTC program is based, so I’d imagine they have some sort of weapon storage room. I feel like hiding here and finding the weapons would give me the best shot against the zombies.
Michael Siroty: Dorm Mini Fridge
Sure, it’ll be a tight fit, but Penn State provides us with mini fridges a reason, right?
Nolan Wick: Pegula Ice Arena
In this scenario, it’s all about knowing your territory. Having covered the men’s hockey team for three seasons now, it’s safe to say I’ve spent enough time at Pegula Ice Arena to know many of its nooks and crannies. I know where exactly in the building I’d go to remain out of sight. Part of it is underground if that’s where I need to be, but I also have a good view of the outside world in the event of imminent danger to observe what’s happening beneath me. I’d have access to plenty of food and water with Subway, Auntie Anne’s, and several other establishments within the building. All I have to do is fortify it better, hide, and I’m good to go.
Joe Lister: Runkle Hall
Oh, how I’ve missed you, Runkle Hall.
I don’t think that Runkle Hall is a particularly safe location, I just want to go back to my roots. Runkle Hall was my dorm room freshman year, and while I had plenty of unfortunate memories from that building, it would feel wrong to go out anywhere else. Maybe my current roommates and I can race chairs down the hallway again while my RA yells at us, or I can watch movies in my friends’ room again. It would be a good way to go out.
Rico Gore: Carnegie Ad Lab
If there was an apocalypse, I want to die where I’ve spent the most amount of my time here at Penn State. Let’s face the facts, I’m not surviving an apocalypse. The mildest inconvenience already ruins a whole day for me. I’m going to die pretty early on, so I want it to be somewhere memorable to me. Shout out to all my fellow Ad students!
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About the Author
“I believe we can do it. I believe we have the depth. Thirteen women in there got to believe it.”
“I’m really glad I did it, and I’m really glad I listened to my sister for once.”
Hicks has scored double-digit points in the past seven games.