Well, folks, if you haven’t heard it enough this week, we’re back. Another year means another time to gather your closest friends in State College or beyond and draft your fantasy football team. Whether you’re a die-hard NFL fan or someone who just wants in on the fun, fantasy football can become, well, messy. 

If you are like many people, the loser of your league must complete a punishment that keeps things interesting and every league member on their toes. If you’re struggling to think of the perfect punishment, don’t worry. After putting together the perfect Penn State-themed punishment list a few years ago, we’ve revamped it for the 2024-25 NFL Season.

The 8 Mile Pizza Challenge

State College pizza…eek. I mean, yum! 

Who doesn’t love a good slice after a late night out with friends or whenever you just need to fulfill your pizza fixation? Gather your friends and head to 8 Mile Pizza on South Pugh Street and get ready because we’ve cooked up the perfect challenge for you.

The loser of your fantasy draft must run eight miles. But here’s the catch: for every slice, of the winner’s choosing, that the loser eats, it will cut down one mile of their run. You eat four slices, you run four miles. You get the idea.

It’s a classic twist on the signature milk mile punishment we all know and hate but with an extra State College twist.

Go To Convocation As An Upperclassman

Unfortunately, this will only work if you are going to be a student come fall 2025, but how funny would this be? Get ready to dig through your drawers, blow the dust off your bright and shiny convocation shirt (or not, if you still wear it…awkward), and take it out of retirement for the day.

If you live under a rock and are unsure of what convocation is, it’s a yearly ceremony held in the Bryce Jordan Center where students wear shirts that represent their respective colleges. President Neeli Bendapudi speaks and everyone sings the Alma Mater. It’s a whole sha-bang.

All you have to do is sneak into one of the freshmen dorm groups on their walk to the Bryce Jordan Center and maybe even make some new freshmen friends (or don’t). It shouldn’t be too hard with roughly 9,500 new freshmen joining Penn State every year.

Listen to “Penn State” By Danny Vitale For 24 Hours Straight

“Party ‘til the sun comes up?” More like listen to Danny Vitale ‘til the sun comes up.

Listen, Vitale’s passion for Penn State is awesome. However, hearing any song for 24 straight hours might make someone go insane. This is the perfect punishment for someone who loves music. Why not incorporate one’s love for music into one’s love for Penn State?

What would make this punishment even better is if you could convince Vitale himself to show up and give your league’s loser a live rendition of the iconic song. Now that’s what I’m calling, “Livin’ every night like it’s Friday.”

All-Day Thomas 100 Challenge

You know it. You love it. Everyone’s favorite lecture hall: Thomas 100.

Spending even 50 minutes in a Thomas 100 class can be grueling, but for an entire day of classes, you must sit front and center in the most famous classroom at Penn State. You’ll #setthestandard as an academic weapon. You must take notes and report back on all of the knowledge you’ve gained that day.

Whether it be MATH 110, PSYCH 100, or ANTH 240, the possibilities are endless regarding all of the knowledge you could gain. Happy learning, fantasy football loser!