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Brainstorming Penn State-Themed Fortune Cookie Fortunes

What does your future hold?

One of the most fun parts about getting Chinese food is the fortune cookie, not because the cookie itself is really delicious, but because of the (often ridiculous) fortunes inside.

Inspired by these all-knowing slips of paper, we thought it would be fun to design some of our own Penn State-themed fortunes. May the odds be in your favor, folks.

Fortune favors the frugal!

This fortune may have been seen as a bad thing in the past, but this year, this might just be enough to get into the College Football Playoff!

This will probably happen to you regardless of whether or not you get this fortune.

Oh, what luck! This is one of the most fortunate things that can happen to you at Penn State.

To win one of LineLeap’s Instagram giveaways, you definitely need some luck. We don’t blame you if you turn to a fortune cookie to find that prosperity.

We don’t know about you, folks, but seeing a dog on campus can instantly turn around a bad day. We’d take this fortune any day.

Some fortunes provide some guidance on what you need to do to make the fortune come true. This is one of them.

In our world, there are places where one can become truly enlightened. One of those places is outside the Willard Building…just ignore most of the actual content that the Willard Preacher says.

It’s OK. Sometimes it pays off to be a little bit lazy.

Victory only graces those who are brave enough to seek it out. Good luck, soldier.

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About the Author

Mikey DeAngelis

Mikey DeAngelis is a Penn State graduate with a degree in film production who served as Onward State's visual editor from 2023-2025. While not reminiscing about his time at Penn State, he enjoys making content for his YouTube channel. Mikey loves Philly sports, traveling and hiking in National Parks, and watching movies. To reach Mikey, feel free to reach out on Twitter (@mikey_deangelis) or by email ([email protected]).

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