Every offensive coordinator needs a few things to be successful: the ability to think on their feet, elite football knowledge, and extremely large calves. Thankfully, at Penn State, our offensive coordinator checks all of those boxes.

Before No. 3 Penn State football’s matchup against the Wisconsin Badgers, Andy Kotelnicki showed his sculpted legs on the field.

Andy Kotelnicki showing off the calves pregame pic.twitter.com/5hD79LYQBM

— Joel Haas (@Joel_Haas1) October 26, 2024

To celebrate Penn State’s 28-13 win and Kotelnicki’s success despite the loss of Drew Allar for the second half, we decided to make a list of smaller things than Kotelnicki’s calves.

Mount Nittany

If you’re looking for a place to get some exercise with a view, hiking Mount Nittany is always a good option. The mountain is listed as 2,077 feet tall, which is nothing compared to our offensive coordinator’s voluptuous calves.

Illinois’ Offensive Line

When the Fighting Illini came to Beaver Stadium, there were some questions about Penn State’s ability to get to the quarterback despite its abundance of elite pass rushers. All of those questions went away after Illinois allowed seven sacks and managed to score just seven points.

Maybe if some of the guys blocking for Luke Altmeyer spent as much time as Kotelnicki working on their calves, they could have protected him better.

Ohio Stadium

No. 4 Ohio State is coming to town this week to take on the Nittany Lions. I am sure all of the Buckeyes are looking forward to finally playing in a full stadium and front of over 107,000 fans, something they never get to do in Columbus.

Despite the listed 102,000-person capacity, I’ll take Kotelnicki’s calves over that place any day.

Michigan’s List Of Playable Quarterbacks

Even from a Penn Stater, 2023 Michigan was deadly. But it’s no longer 2023, and JJ McCarthy is on the Vikings. This season, the Wolverines have played three different quarterbacks, and none of them make the top 15 in the Big Ten in passer rating, completion percentage, or passing yards.

I’m sure Sherrone Moore wished he could play Kotelnicki’s calves under center.

A Badger

Honey Badgers are cool. American Badgers are small and not cool. When No. 3 Penn State went to Wisconsin, Kotelnicki flashed his legs during pregame, and Bucky the Badger was notably shaken up after the fact.

With an average weight of 15 pounds, I don’t doubt that Kotelnicki’s calves are larger than a badger.