Happy THON, folks.

Dancers have been standing for a while now. If you’re at THON in the early hours of Saturday and, eventually, Sunday, there will be downtime.

To help combat the boredom that comes in between acts and stage events, it’s important to keep your mind active. So, naturally, we put together a list of questions to ponder to keep yourself sharp throughout the weekend.

46. Why Did The Willard Preacher Choose The Willard Building?

Is it the vending machines or the fact that exercising your First Amendment right outside of a communications building just feels right?

45. Will James Franklin Win A Big Game?

Was a victory over SMU and Boise State enough to end the nickname? 

44. Why Is The Sky Blue?

Why not lavender, chartreuse, or burgundy?

43. Which Campus News Outlet Is The Best?

Onward State. Next question.

42. What Is The Meaning Of Life?

Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchihiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, says the answer to the question is 42. What we’re really looking for is the question itself.

41. Does Free Will Exist?

Are you reading this article because you want to or because the sum of all previous events has pushed you toward this exact moment? 

40. Why Didn’t Frodo & The Fellowship Ride The Great Eagles To Mount Doom In Lord Of The Rings?

The Great Eagles of Middle Earth appear just a few times throughout the world of J.R.R. Tolkien. The Eagles rescue Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit, play a role in the Battle of the Five Armies, pull Gandalf from his imprisonment by Saruman, and rescue Sam Gamgee and Frodo Baggins from certain death at Mount Doom.

The simple answer is for the narrative itself. With no journey, there’s no Middle Earth. But, two canonical answers could explain the mysterious and somewhat random appearances of the Great Eagles.

As Gandalf noted many times, the mission of the fellowship was one of secrecy. Frodo and his reluctant travelers knew the magnitude of the quest ahead, and the Eagles wouldn’t have actually made the trip any easier. The (nearly) all-knowing Sauron couldn’t sense the fellowship, but he would’ve easily seen the Eagles coming.

While the fellowship was still in its planning stages during the Council of Elrond at Rivendell, Boromir declared that “one does not simply walk into Mordor.”

“Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs,” he said. “There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful.”

Not only would the great birds be too large to actually reach the summit of Mount Doom, but they would attract attention from Sauron’s army of Orcs and Uruk-hai. One does not simply walk into Mordor, and one does not simply fly, either.

On top of the challenges the presence of the Eagles would bring about, the birds were at the greatest risk of corruption. There’s a reason the One Ring had been entrusted to Bilbo for all those years, and there’s a reason why Frodo remained in charge of the Ring. Hobbits aren’t powerful creatures, and their small size makes them a good choice for a steward of the Ring.

An Eagle carrying the Ring all the way to Mount Doom could prove disastrous. Frodo was nearly corrupted, the Eagles most certainly would’ve fallen victim. 

39. Is Language Necessary For Thought?

Do dogs think in Bark? Cats in Meow?

38. Was William Shakespeare A Fraud?

The biggest argument for the “Shakespeare was a fraud” camp was that he used over 20,000 words in his works, which doesn’t seem possible for one person. What an opprobrious claim, people just naturally have Brobdingnagian vocabularies sometimes.

37. Who Was The Best Joker?

The answer is Heath Ledger, but apparently, this is a debatable topic.

36. Should Penn State Football Wear Pink & Black Throwbacks? 

The throwback uniforms are always a hit when other sportswear them. Why not break them out in Beaver Stadium?

35. What Is Good?

Nothing much, how about you?

Who came up with the moral concept of good? What is good? Is it really that subjective?

34. What Is Evil?

The only natural progression from question No. 35.

33. Will Penn State Men’s Hockey Make The Tournament?

They’re on a roll, folks.

32. Is Mike Rhoades The Answer?

There was significant hype around Mike Rhoades during the non-conference schedule, but it waned during the team’s recent losing streak. Will he find success in year three?

31. Are You The Same Person As You Were Yesterday?

Ever heard of the Ship of Theseus paradox? 

30. Did The Chicken Come Before The Egg?

Yes? No? Maybe? Discuss.

29. Are The Harry Potter Movies Worth Remaking?

HBO announced plans to turn the Harry Potter franchise into a show with a season for each book. Is it even worth it? You can’t replace Alan Rickman, folks.

28. Who Is The Best Spiderman?

Unlike the Joker question, this one doesn’t have a clear answer (Toby Maguire.)

27.  Where Is Drew Allar’s Ceiling?

First-round talent? Future quarterbacks coach? National Champion?

26. What Is The Worst State?

…And why is it Ohio?

25. Will Big AJ & Big Justice Ever Go Away?

Your 15 minutes are up, pals.

24. Is This The Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

Dance Break.

23. But The Eagles Fly Much Faster Than Walking, Couldn’t They Have Gotten The Fellowship At Least A Little Closer?

Theoretically, yes, the Eagles could’ve helped a bit more than they did. Once again, though, these are immensely powerful beings, and they aren’t there to do the bidding of wizards and hobbits. The Eagles were “devised” by Manwë near the beginning of time, they’ve been around Middle Earth a time or two.

Gandalf realizes this. Yes, he’s the most powerful wizard in all of Middle Earth, but he respects the sanctity of the Great Eagles, who only insert themselves when they absolutely need to. To put it simply, we don’t call the ambulance for a paper cut, why call the Eagles for something minor?

That isn’t to diminish the job that the fellowship had to do, though. If the Eagles bailed them out of every bad situation they were in, they’d have no time to help the rest of Middle Earth.

The Eagles are a higher being, keepers of a knowledge more powerful than can be imagined. If the Eagles wanted to help, they would.

22. What’s Missing From Downtown State College That Would Make It Better?

What businesses would enhance State College by moving into a vacant lot downtown? Send me your answer to this one, I’ve got a real estate project due next week.

21. Do You Wish Folks Merry Toyota-thon Or Happy Honda Days?

You can tell a lot about a person by this answer. Think it over.

20. Should Seinfeld’s Legacy Be Tainted By Its Finale?

An argument about nothing. One of the greatest comedy shows of all time, Seinfeld left a lot of people disappointed with its finale. Why isn’t it talked about more?

19. Are There Tangible Differences Between Avenues, Roads, Streets, & Boulevards?

I don’t know and I’m too scared to ask.

18. What’s The Funniest Joke That’s Ever Been Told?

“My dog has no nose.”

“How does he smell?”

“Awful.”

17. Is A Picture Really Worth 1,000 Words?

Onward State loves its photographers, but it can’t be worth more than 750.

16. What Super Power Would You Want To Have?

Invisibility, super strength, or money like Batman and Iron Man?

15. If You Could Only Have One Meal For The Rest Of Your Life, What Would It Be?

That’s not a life I’d want to live.

14. Which THON Committee Has The Best Shirt?

It’s a sea of bright colors down there, which one is the best? 

13. Are Humans Supposed To Be Multiplanetary?

It’s only a matter of time before we reach Mars. What’ll be waiting for us there?

12. What Would A Fly Without Wings Be Called?

What about an anteater that doesn’t like ants?

11. How Does The Easter Bunny Enter Your House?

Santa comes down the chimney, but there’s never been a direct explanation of how the Easter Bunny breaks and enters.

10. What’s The First Thing You’d Do If You Won The Lottery?

Conspicuous consumption time. 

9. Okay, So If The Eagles Are Benevolent Beings With A Sense Of Right & Wrong, Why Would They Not Want To Aid In The Destruction Of The One Ring & Save Middle Earth Once & For All?

It’s simply not their battle to fight. Tolkien dove pretty deep into the world of Middle Earth, and the Eagles have been there since the Silmarillion. Maybe the Eagles can’t intervene for fear of messing up a timeline? Maybe there’s fate involved? I choose not to question the Eagles.

Don’t get hung up on that facet of the argument, though. The fellowship couldn’t have made it there on the Eagles. The evil that surrounds Mount Doom could’ve picked up the Eagles coming from a long way off. 

As it was, they almost didn’t get to the summit. Don’t act like the Eagles aren’t benevolent because they waited and let Frodo solve his own problems. 

Not to mention that it was just impossible. The Eagles couldn’t have done it, Sauron would’ve smelled it from a mile away.

8. How Did Frisbee Golf Become A Thing?

Golf itself is a funny enough game to ponder how it was created, but who looked at golf and said, “We could do this with flying saucers?”

7. Where Is The Joe Pa Statue

Someone out there has a really, really cool piece for their front yard.

6. How Many Hours Have You Spent Watching TV In Your Lifetime?

A lot.

5. What Would Happen If Someone Stole The Moon?

Besides the tides, what else would happen? It’s already dark, there’s not much else to lose, is there?

4. Is Cereal Soup?

Pieces of food floating in a liquid? It makes a convincing argument.

3. Why Do Round Pizzas Come In Square Boxes?

Geometry, am I right?

2. So, Tolkien Doesn’t Leave Plot Holes After All?

No, Tolkien doesn’t leave plot holes.

1. How Many Hours Are Left?

Don’t worry about it.