In the famous folk tale, the tortoise beat the hare.

Well, THON definitely was inspired by the famous race when trying to come up with the best way to clean the Bryce Jordan Center floor for the dancers.

Covering about one square foot per machine, THON uses Zambonis that travel at the speed of light from a broken light bulb. Going side to side, blocking off a large part of the floor for the dancers for the better part of an hour.

This and the fact that regular handheld mops are still required had us wondering what was faster than the Zambonis. Here’s what we came up with.

THON

I was genuinely worried the 46 hours would run up before the floor was clean for the dancers.

Dora’s Aging

I don’t know about you, but I find it quite suspicious that when my roommates and I turn on Dora in our free time, she looks the same age as she did was I was a child. She must eat a lot of avocados or something (if anyone has her diet, text us).

Either way, I think Dora will turn 21 and be able to enjoy a dollar vodka soda night before the BJC floor is clean.

My Thought Creation

Look, I’ve been here a really long time already, and it’s not even lunchtime on Saturday. My mind has started to fuzz and writing had severly fallen off, I’m sure you can tell. This is a fairly simple post that I really could have put whatever I wanted, yet, I have managed to turn this into a battlefield of time and mind.

Hopefully, I can finish this before the Zambonis have the floor nice and shiny, that way I will be proven right.

The Wait For A Portal To Open

There is nothing worse than leaving when a portal is open just to come back to the black curtain blocking your entrance. You try to explain to the THON worker younger than you that you could not have signed out because the portal wasn’t closed when you left, but that doesn’t work.

Now, you wait for what feels like hours missing out on all the fun, until at virtually a random time, the portal is opened again. If you are lucky you will get back in time to catch the end of the floor cleaning.

Penn State Men’s Hockey Games

The guys in blue and white are on an absolute heater right now, so fair play to them. But let’s be real, every game goes to overtime and half of them go to a shootout. Let’s keep the winning up, but shorten the games here fellas. I’ve got some Zamboning to watch.