America’s favorite summer show has wrapped, folks! With Love Island USA’s return to Peacock in June, viewers enjoyed a new episode every day of the week except Wednesday’s all summer long. Millions of fans tuned in nightly to watch as their favorite islanders found love, explored connections, and navigated relationships under the microscope of America.

Much like last year, this season became such a viral sensation that even giant corporations like Jet Blue and the NFL got in on the drama on social media. With all the hype surrounding life on the island, we couldn’t help but wonder how Penn State could capitalize on this publicity. If you have been wondering how you can satisfy your 9 p.m. Love Island craving, here is our official pitch for a new spin off — Love Island Penn State.

Host

Replacing the iconic Ariana Madix, Katie Feeney would be the host of Love Island Penn State. Her social media skills will have prepared her well for the cut throat world of reality TV, just like Vanderpump Rules prepared Madix. Feeney’s warm persona would also give the islanders the encouragement they need to compete in the risqué challenges, and add some comfort when they must be dumped from the island (or in our case, State College).

Voiceover

Iain Stirling’s voiceover role would be fulfilled by none other than James Franklin. Accustomed to press conferences and interviews, he has to speak on the fly often and would be able to come up with plenty of corny ad libs like Stirling is known for. Although he would have to come up with something other than repeatedly asking for “White Out Energy” to maintain the energy of viewers across the country.

Locations

The fire pit in the show represents the crucial area where the dramatic “recouplings” occur throughout the week. For Love Island Penn State, the islanders would be forced to huddle around the Nittany Lion Shrine while their fellow Penn Staters and all of America decided to dump them or save them.

Soul Ties is where couples on the show huddle up for chats away from the other islanders. For our version, the HUB lawn gazebo would act as the perfect Soul Ties replacement. A supposed romantic spot, yet smack dab in the middle of the busiest part of the villa/campus.

The Hideaway in the villa is where couples are sent for some privacy at night, and producers of Love Island Penn State wouldn’t have to look hard to find a perfect substitution for it. State College’s very own Hideaway Speakeasy downtown already has the same namesake, and filming for a show would allow the bar to keep up their ‘temporarily closed’ excuse for at least a few more months without suspicion.

Casa Amor

This season on Love Island, the female islanders were the ones sent away to Casa Amor, a place where their connections with the boys were tested by introductions to a whole new cast of men. Instead of our girls getting whisked away to a gorgeous beachside mansion, they will be sent to frat row for the week and forced to stay there with the brothers. Nothing tests a relationship like a week surrounded by unfamiliar men in a dirty, cramped frat house.

Challenges

Islanders on the real show are taken out of the villa to partake in endless challenges to mingle and get to know people outside of their couple. They are carted out of the villa with cut scenes of them running and skipping across breathtaking Fijian landscapes on their way to the separate sets for filming. In lieu of this, all challenges on Love Island Penn State will require the Penn Staters to hike up picturesque Mount Nittany to participate in the challenge that awaits them above.

The few lucky couples that are allowed to go on a private date just the two of them will be treated to a romantic picnic in the Arboretum set up by the producers. Nothing screams romance like exploring their connection while surrounded by the freshman wandering out of East.

Neeli Bendapudi Cameo

This season, Megan Thee Stallion rocked the Love Island villa when she made an appearance and held a “Twerk-Off” with all the islanders competing against each other. The group that exceeded Megan’s standards were awarded with a new bombshell. While we can’t get Megan for our show, our replacement will be our iconic president, Neeli Bendapudi, who will be holding the aptly named Neeli Benda-Booty Twerk-Off challenge. Penn Staters who don’t live up to her standards get removed from the university entirely. Stakes in Love Island Penn State are higher than just finding your soulmate.

As islanders leave the villa, the iconic “Loves me/Loves me not” sign lights up indicating that their time in the house has come to an end. As our Penn Staters leave State College after unsuccessful attempts to find love, they’ll be reminded that the “We” in “We Are” doesn’t really apply to everyone after all.