Following Penn State’s recent 22-21 loss to Northwestern, numerous fans, alumni, and students called for James Franklin’s removal as Penn State football’s head coach.

The university listened. On Sunday, October 12, Franklin was removed from his position as head coach of Penn State Football, with cornerbacks coach and associate head coach Terry Smith stepping in as interim.

Franklin’s buyout is reportedly around $50 million in September. Post breakup, Franklin should have quite a lot of money to play around with now. Here at Onward State, we wondered what exactly the now former head coach could use this money for.

Of course, all of this is just for fun. Not consulting for price changes over time, this is what you could currently buy with James Franklin’s buyout. 

2.2 Million Labubus

Labubus. The odd-looking, kind of creepy dolls that are all the rage. With the buyout, you could easily buy more than enough of them to give one to every attendant at a Penn State football game for roughly the past 21 home games.

Though realistically, how many people would want the creepy things?

100 CATA Buses 

Do you ever find yourself waking up too late to walk to class? Maybe it’s too cold for you to make it without frostbite? Just want to own a bus? Well, with Franklin’s buyout, you could easily have a fleet of all your own CNG CATA Buses.

With a retail price of roughly $500,000, you could supply the White Loop for years to come. This would clear CATA’s current fleet of 71 buses, making sure future freshmen would never have to worry about how to get around after a long day of classes.

Not only are they environmentally friendly, but they are also a sweet ride to pull up to any tailgate with.  

3,125,000 days (or 8,561 years) of parking in East Deck

East Deck. A prime location to keep any vehicle, except maybe your new CATA bus, for any reason, and for any amount of time.

At just $16 a day for parking, you could more than reasonably park your car long enough for it not only to become an antique, one-of-a-kind relic from the past, but also for the rest of your family lineage to have a parking spot on gameday. What a treat. 

50 Million Dollar Dogs

While it may seem obvious to the average person, Franklin could buy quite a few hot dogs from Medlar Field with this buyout. But 50 million hot dogs?

What could you ever do with that? Glad you asked. You could realistically feed the populations of Pennsylvania and New Jersey, giving each resident two hot dogs. Or maybe he wants to treat all alumni? Each alumn can get 62 hot dogs!

3 Gulfstream G150

If you haven’t heard already, Penn State currently owns and operates 2 private jets for official university business. But only 2 private jets? Where’s the fun in that? As a parting gift, Franklin could buy the university 3 more private jets, doubling their fleet and maybe even opening one up for student trips abroad.

While the specific model of jet, the Gulfstream G150, is somewhat older, I’m sure no one would be complaining about a new private jet. 

35 Years of Neeli Bendapudi’s Employment

With Dr. Bendapudi’s recent salary increase to $1.4 million, you could keep her in office and employed for the foreseeable future. While we recently did an article about what Dr. Bendapudi could spend her salary on, we do wonder what she would do with 35 years of it. 

4,166,666 Tubs of Death by Chocolate from the Berkey Creamery

Death by Chocolate is, without a doubt, one of the greatest things to come out of Penn State.

With $50 million, taking into account that you reasonably eat one tub a day, you could have enough of the greatest flavor to last you 11,415 years. Would you want to eat it after all that time?

Yes. It’s amazing.

130,208 Ohio State Student Section Tickets

It’s no secret that Penn State has struggled to overcome Ohio State in football, but maybe as a last-ditch effort, Franklin could purchase any and all Ohio State Student tickets and give them away to hopefully help this team win. 

With Ohio Stadium having an official capacity of 102,780, Franklin could easily pack out the stadium with all white, as well as the surrounding parking lots.

Would this lead to a win? That would be pretty ironic if the Nittany Lions beat the Buckeyes in the first game without Franklin.

1 Saquon Barkley 2-year NIL Deal

With the Eagles’ announcement of agreeing with Saquon Barkley to a 2-year, $41.2 million contract turning heads, we imagine that bringing Saquon back would turn heads as well, not only for his age, but also for the price tag. 

While Saquon may not have been able to take advantage of the successes of NIL that we see today, Franklin could use this buyout to benefit the team as a whole and bring the highest-paid running back home to Happy Valley to turn this season around.