Many consider those working on oil rigs, in healthcare, or in government to be essential workers to our society. I, for one, think intramural referees have a case to be made — at least here in Happy Valley.

Take a step back and put their work-life balance in perspective. In addition to classes, clubs, and other extracurriculars, these students learn how to officiate some of the most popular sports worldwide in just a few training sessions.

During the fall semester, it’s outdoor sports like soccer and football. The average former athlete may understand these games at a high level, but they’re usually the ones wearing pinnies and cleats. Those officiating, in my experience, haven’t played the sport since elementary school and have to learn rule intricacies through a PowerPoint presentation.

In the winter, basketball takes over as the popular sport, which has enough whistle stoppages to blow out an eardrum. It’s hardly possible to know all the fouls and violations when playing the game, never mind refereeing it. Soon, they’ll return to outdoor sports from the fall, no matter what weather March has in store for them.

The list above is not exhaustive either; every year, there are weirder and weirder sports that need to be overseen by a 19-year-old undecided undergraduate in need of quick cash. Turf hockey, innertube water polo, wallyball, and paddleboard jousting are real sports you can sign up for on the IM website.

What are these sports? How do you end up as the unfortunate soul officiating them?

There’s more likely than not a referee out there who hardly knows basketball, but signed up to officiate this semester because their bank account took a few too many hits in the fall. Now they spend their Thursday nights on the east side of campus, getting chirped by a “student-coach” in a suit, posing as Coach K.

And for what it’s worth, I mean no disrespect to fellow overly-competitive intramural athletes; I am, self-admittedly, just as intolerable on the court.

It’s truly a blessing that someone does this job. I’ve witnessed the horrors of an IM football playoff game. This past season, two teams were disqualified mid-playoffs for brawling on the field after a touchdown. Some referees don’t know what a false start is. How do you expect them to handle a few fragile egos on the football field?

This job isn’t desirable; I would rather work at the IM desk in the building than get berated by college students for two hours because I missed a call. However, it is a necessary one for fellow washed-up high school athletes, re-living their glory days on the fields and courts of Penn State.

How do you bear us? I will never know. But I do respect you. Thank you for your service to Penn State.