We’ve all been there: a State Patty’s party that just is not feeling like what it should. The music quality isn’t there, the drinks aren’t super good, and the odd smell of a State Patty’s darty is catching up to you as you slowly sober up.

The solution? An Irish Goodbye, the peak of leaving parties. But what is an Irish Goodbye? Put simply, it is leaving a party, bar, or gathering, without telling anyone, not even the host. Simple, quiet, and no one notices until hours later.

The only issue is how to properly execute this without getting caught. Well, folks, I have scoured the internet and have developed the perfect step-by-step game plan to Irish Goodbye a party.

Pregame Checklist: Collecting Your Belongings

The worst possible mistake you could make during an Irish Goodbye is forgetting something, getting to the door, and then remembering what it is. It could be a phone charger, coat, wallet (worst case scenario), or a hat. To properly execute the Irish Goodbye, you cannot forget anything before you make the first moves. The pregame is crucial.

Step 1: Plan It Out

No one goes into anything quite like an Irish Goodbye without a good plan. When you want to leave, where you hope to go, and all the other parts that blend together have to be thought of beforehand. Maybe you’re just walking out the front gate to go to another party. Maybe you’re slipping out the back to hit the bars. Whatever it is, make sure you have a plan.

Step 2: Stop Adding New Conversations

Part of your plan should be to stop talking to new people. Try to just linger about twenty minutes before you plan to leave. Don’t be intentionally quiet, but don’t be extremely outgoing.

Step 3: Find your exit window

While you may have planned your time to leave, you need to wait for the proper window of opportunity. Leaving in the middle of a conversation, a major part of a party, or during an important announcement looks worse on you than anything. Wait til the music is blasting, people are somewhat distracted, or others are leaving. Drawing attention to yourself is the last thing you would ever want to do, and for good reason. You want to disappear.

Step 4: The Perfect Execution

Everything is lined up: you have all your belongings, you know when you want to leave and where you are going, you stopped new conversations, and the exit window has appeared. Now, you need to act. Don’t linger or announce your departure. Just confidently walk out the door. You know you left, and that is more than enough. The party just wasn’t your vibe, and that’s completely fine.

Postgame: Thank The Host

Obviously, don’t do this while you’re trying to Irish Goodbye. That defeats the purpose. However, always thank whoever hosted (unless it’s a massive party, no point in thanking the organizer). For those medium to large parties, always thank the host for an invite, no matter how insignificant it may seem. It shows them you truly care and appreciate them (and aren’t just there for the free alcohol, which we know you are). It’s common courtesy, after all.

Remember, this only works at the medium to massive parties and darties, so don’t go Irish Goodbye a dinner with friends or a small get-together. You’re better than that. Enjoy your State Patty’s!