It’s time, Penn State baseball.

Medlar Field at Lubrano Park is long overdue to have someone, or something, else retrieve baseball bats other than the on-deck batter. I speak for all fans when I say, we want to see a golden retriever running around in a baseball uniform, or a child in a hot-dog costume retrieving baseball bats and protective gear left astrew in the batters’ box.

This idea has been lingering in my head since FDU came to town with, what seemed to be, a coach’s son, no older than ten, as the bat-boy. And the best part about it was that, in the middle innings of Penn State’s eventual win over FDU, a section of fans near the dugout noticed the bat-boy and cheered him on as he retrieved equipment, even though he was wearing the opposing team’s colors.

It was wholesome.

With how Penn State baseball’s team has been growing in popularity, despite its record regressing, a bat-boy is a perfect way to continue that growth — especially if said bat-boy has a connection to the team, like a coach’s kid. And I’ve seen firsthand head coach Mike Gambino’s love for having his kids around the ballpark, which makes them perfect candidates.

So, what better way to get his son or daughter involved than having them be a bat-boy or bat-girl for the team?

The team has an easy soft-launch opportunity this weekend in “Kids Run The Bases (12 & Under),” on Sunday, April 19. And if all goes well, as mentioned above, the team could dress the bat-boy in a hot dog costume for Dollar Dog Night, which is on Tuesday, April 21.

I can’t imagine anyone in the athletics administration having the gall to deny this proposal. It’s not only a fun experience for a kid but also a morale booster in the clubhouse. Baseball’s a game of fun, and the only way to succeed is by having fun, so give the team more fun and get a bat-boy or bat-girl.

And, if the athletics administration decides a bat-boy or girl is not fun enough, I propose to them a bat-dog — not to be confused with Batman’s dog, Ace. I’m sure you’ve all seen a trending video of a bat-dog failing hilariously at its job, but for those unfamiliar, a bat-dog takes on the traditional role of a bat-boy, except they only retrieve bats, not protective gear.

And sometimes poop on the field.

The Clearwater Threshers new bat dog Lily did not understand the assignment pic.twitter.com/uvb4v1WGQm

— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) August 24, 2024

Minor League teams have adopted these bat-dogs because they draw fans to the stadium, and that’s a clear goal of Penn State baseball’s marketing team, as we’ve seen with much higher attendance during Dollar Dog Nights.

At this point, I think the team should embrace the “dog” culture they clearly have going for it by adopting a bat-dog. Then you could put a dog in a hot-dog costume on Dollar Dog Night — that will really get the crowd going.

Also, imagine the excitement all the other dogs will have at “Bark in the Park: on May 3 when they see their fellow furry friends doing a job previously done by humans.

The opportunity is there for the taking; it’s up to Penn State baseball to seize it.