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Worst Night Ever

wpgrksThe CDT is perhaps most valuable for its coverage of police reports, specifically the alcohol related incidents.

Is it in poor taste to say today’s top incident is humorous? Yes. But we’ll do it anyway.

The story starts off innocently enough.

A search was initiated Thursday night after Ferguson Township police were unable to locate a man who was reported to be highly intoxicated.

It could have gone anywhere after that lede. Maybe it was just a bro who got lost on his way home from a game of frisbee?

(OK, it probably wasn’t a bro since this happened down 26 near Fairbrook…)

The story goes on to say that the police first heard about the man around 9:00 last night, when he knocked on someone’s door and asked for “beer.” (The CDT put it in quotes, so we will too?) Ostensibly he thought he was at his friend’s house, but I bet he was just banking on the kindness of strangers. The pursuit of happyness, if you will.

It gets less funny after that. The man wandered away, and ended up passing out at the end of a nearby road. Police found him around midnight and took him to Mount Nittany Medical Center. The low last night was about 0°F, so hopefully the guy had a pretty big beer jacket on.

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About the Author


Creator of @OnwardState. Big fan of sweaters.

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