The More You Know: 16801 After Spring Break
Do not believe the idyllic tweet recently posted on Onward State. Downtown State College is peaceful and quaint? Perhaps if you consider the area of Beaver Canyon, which has been taken over by the pterodactyls, where exposed rib cages outnumber discarded beer cans, to be “quaint.”
That tweet was a ruse, most likely perpetrated by one of the many new biker gangs that are now fighting for control of West Campus. The largest gang, The MurderCyclists, have taken over the Imperial Motor Inn, giving the motel the most business it has had since it hosted that meth lab a few years back.
Needless to say, dear readers, you must come back. State College is a bit of a clusterfuck at the moment. After all, that rat food was eaten by the morlock-like survivors, not adorable mice.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to York, PA, where I hope to avoid committing vehicular homicide on an Amish horse.
Your ad blocker is on.
Please choose an option below.
Purchase a Subscription!
About the Author
“I think that’s where a lot of my desire to help others has stemmed from because I grew up around that amount of kindness.”
‘Anybody In This League Has A Chance To Win The National Championship’: Penn State Men’s Hockey Facing Unpredictable Final Stretch
“Any team can beat any team on any given night, and it’s super fun.”
“I’ll learn this first year if people are really watching the game and know basketball.”