10 Questions With Kid on a Rope

10 Questions is a recurring Onward State feature in which we ask people about their Penn State experience. Onward State was thrilled to have the opportunity to talk to Cory, age 4, as he swaggered down Shortlidge Rd. The picture at right is a self portrait titled “Me”.kid

Who do you think will emerge victorious in the UPUA elections?
U… p… hahahahahahahaha

What are the Lions’ chances against the Bears in the NIT finals?
If you had like… 6 tigers. They would win.

What is your favorite building on campus?
Um… my mom says I’m not allowed to go camping.

Where do you stand on the ethics of animal testing for cosmetics research?
My dog Rick never has to take tests, it’s not fair.

How was your conception of reality changed in light of the recent developments in quantum physics?
Yesterday, my mom took me to the mall, and she said we had to get shoes, but I wanted ice cream, so I started screaming, and she got all mad…

Do you subscribe to fatalism or free will?
Free Willy is my favorite movie ever!

Have you found that class struggles are accurately portrayed in the new Pokemon game?
Trainer 4 is really hard, [distracted by overhead flock of geese] … but after that it’s not that bad

What do you think caused the extinction of the dinosaurs?
It’s not Noah’s fault they couldn’t all fit on the ark.

What are your thoughts on the rope?
Some would say that this rope is a simple safety precaution, but I would contend that it represents society’s noose on the modern juvenile. The Man wants to hold us down because of jealousy and fear—it is well known that children are, in fact, the future. Our ability to see things from a novel perspective would challenge societal norms that could bring about the collapse of the status quo in the workplace– it is their precious bureaucracy that these grown-ups are trying so desperately to protect. Other than that, it’s mostly just itchy.

If you had one piece of advice to give the students of Penn State, what would it be?
Turn on, tune in, drop out.

Dan Mills helped interview Cory.

About the Author

Dana Kimmelman

Dana Kimmelman is a SENIOR studying Psychology and Philosophy. She hasn't updated her profile in a long time, and she knows that it's just not Snowflake Day without a lamb taco.

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