PSU news by
Penn State's student blog



What to Do with Beta

While the chapter itself is in pretty poor shape, the Beta Theta Pi house is in great condition, having recently undergone a $7,000,000 renovation. However, the house remains virtually unused. True, an art fundraiser was held there earlier this fall, but is that really all the use we can get out of the beautiful building? We put our heads together and came up with a few ideas.

Beta HouseFrat Rat Halfway House

For those poor souls who want to break their habit of spending their college years squinting through the haze of too-late nights out on frat row, the university now offers a haven. Clients of Natural Light Rehab will be led gently away from the lifestyle of belligerence and mindless gyrating gradually, with a twelve-step program that uses the comfortingly familiar letters of the Greek alphabet.

The healing process begins with an enormous opening party where non-alcoholic beer and shots of fruit punch are served. By graduation, all participants will be capable of attending sophisticated soirees without dancing on a table or demanding that someone remove their clothing. It’s a brave mission, but the university fully expects to have the facility up and running by the time Fall Rush is over.

Concert Venue

Ever walk down a dorm’s hallway to find one person blasting T-Pain while the person across the hall cranks Metallica to full volume? What if T-Pain and Metallica played a live show at Beta House – at the same time in different rooms? And with State College still in need of some more concert venues, this could be the perfect solution!

…Unfortunately, Beta was axed for alleged hazing violations, which might make the university not too keen on using its space as a venue for multiple loud acts, especially after the Ying Yang Twins show at Phi Kappa Sigma Phi Sigma Kappa last Fall got shut down after a couple songs for noise violations. Here’s an easy fix: turn Beta into an all-acoustic venue!

Here is how it would work: Every room in Beta would be set up as a mini venue for local/underground groups, while the bigger, more open rooms would host more popular acts. Local legends like Jordan O’Jordan could have an intimate show in a bedroom while Jack Johnson rocks out in the living room. It would be the best of all worlds!

Haunted House

Beta is undoubtedly a beautiful house. It brings to mind some of the most famous haunted dwellings in history, such as the Overlook Hotel and that house from The Haunting (1963 version, of course). The main difference, however, is that Beta is not haunted. I walk past that building everyday and think “What a waste – some restless and violent inter-dimensional, non-corporeal intelligence once based in living flesh could totally live there, spookin’ everybody out.”

What the university clearly needs to do is capture some ghosts to release into Beta. Luckily, PSU is the frontier research institution for paranormal studies, featuring the Paranormal Research Society, which boldly investigates unexplained phenomena, such as indistinct background noise and the anecdotal testimony of children. So I’m proposing the University lets the Paranormal Society capture wild ghosts (surely they’ve found some by now) to release into Beta. The windows and doors will then be boarded up and the house will be left to naturally deteriorate as its insides become infested with ancient malevolent spirits. It will later be reopened for extravagant dinner parties.

Do you have an idea for what to do with Beta? Let us know below!

About the Author


Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.


More by Onward State

Staff Predictions: Over/Under Penn State’s Projected Win Total

Vegas bookmakers have set Penn State’s over/under win total count at 9.5 for the upcoming football season.

Penn State Baseball Swept In Weekend Series Against Northwestern

To Our Favorite NFL Teams: Please Draft Saquon Barkley


Incoming Penn State Track & Field Athlete Kristian Marche Shot To Death In Philadelphia

The incident surrounding Marche’s death is “under investigation,” according to the Philadelphia police department.

Former Women’s Gymnastics Coach Files Lawsuit Against Penn State Over Handling Of Abuse Allegations

Men’s Soccer Trio, Reading United Win PDL Eastern Conference Title, Fall Short Of National Championship

Penn State Hockey’s Evan Barratt, Aarne Talvitie Participate In World Junior Summer Showcase

Ally McHugh Wins 400 Medley National Championship

Student Life

Nike Releases New Penn State Sneakers

This year’s sneaker is available to purchase online for $109.99.

Penn State Parking Office Runs Into Student Permit Purchase Issues

Girirajan Lab Seeks To Bridge The Gap Between Fly And Human Genomes

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

Join Onward State: Fall 2018 Application

Onward State is hiring for the fall semester and we’d love to have you join us.

Fall Move-In Traffic & Construction Changes

When 40,000 students need to move back to State College over the course of four days or so, things are bound to get crazy.

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Assessing Penn State’s Front Seven Following Tuesday’s Medical Retirements

Penn State’s defensive line rotation will be shaken up following Ryan Buchholz’s medical retirement from football, while the coaching staff is letting the linebackers duel it out during camp.

Send this to a friend