PSU news by
Penn State's student blog



Collegian Names New General Manager

The Daily Collegian’s search for a new general manager has come to an end. When the newspaper’s GM Gerry Hamilton announced his resignation, the Collegian began looking for a replacement (see our March 17 post). And they’ve finally found one.

Insiders at the Collegian have been quoted as saying, “Based on a statistical analysis of the number of hours put into this search by the Collegian’s administration, the height and weight of the applicants for the position, their median age, and their average number of cups of coffee consumed daily, we have reached the conclusion that the quest for a new general manager was only slightly less treacherous and time consuming than Percival’s quest for the Holy Grail. However, we believe our new GM will allow the newspaper to illuminate the Penn State community in never-before seen ways, making it a shining, glimmering beacon of journalistic light. He has truly been the pot o’ gold at the end of the leprechaun’s rainbow.”

And who, you may ask, is deserving of such eloquent praise and acclamation?

Why, it’s none other than our very own Davis Shaver!

Although the Collegian graciously declined his April 2009 offer to purchase it, Shaver’s continued relationship with the print media outlet has lead to his recent appointment. His inordinately busy schedule and keen management sense, however, have lead him to require several structural adjustments of the Collegian:

-Given the unfortunate demise of print media (again, refer to Shaver’s purchase offer from last year), no news stories will be printed in the Collegian. They will be redirected to Stall Stories, where readership is highest.

-To replace the absent news, 96.4 % of the paper’s print space will be replaced with crossword puzzles. This initiative was planned in collaboration with the OADBBC (Organization Against Death By Boredom in the Classroom).

-Remaining space will be devoted to the “Davis Photo of the Day” section, which will feature images of the new GM in various body-building poses.

– The old rectangular design of the newspaper will undergo revisions to look more like Davis’ favorite dinosaur–the brontosaurus.

Based on just these few examples, it looks like great things are  in store for the Daily Collegian in the coming months. We’re sure that the greater State College community is waiting with baited breath to see what other brilliant improvements general manager Shaver has in store for the Collegian–stay tuned for full coverage on Onward State.

About the Author


More by Arianna

TEDxPSU Inspires PSU

In light of recent events, the organizers of this year’s TEDxPSU may have been concerned that the event might get lost in the fray. Despite it all, the community made a strong showing yesterday, filling up much of the allotted space in the HUB. Attendance probably should have been even higher since it was definitely worth seeing.The theme was Relics to Revolutionaries, and speakers including Michael Mann, Mia Bloom, Ian Rosenberger, and Joseph Michael Valente who covered topics as diverse as cyber charter schools, the involment of women in terrorist organizations, and making art from Twitter feeds.

Students for Change: Occupy Penn State Launches

Old Main Bell Rings Again


Penn State Women’s Soccer Poised For Strong 2018 Season

Erica Dambach’s Nittany Lions return a solid combination of experience and young talent. They’re ranked No. 4 to start the season.

Incoming Penn State Track & Field Athlete Kristian Marche Shot To Death In Philadelphia

Former Women’s Gymnastics Coach Files Lawsuit Against Penn State Over Handling Of Abuse Allegations

Men’s Soccer Trio, Reading United Win PDL Eastern Conference Title, Fall Short Of National Championship

Penn State Hockey’s Evan Barratt, Aarne Talvitie Participate In World Junior Summer Showcase

Student Life

Start The Semester Off Right With These Welcome Week Activities

Don your brightly-colored college shirt and officially begin your Penn State career with these Welcome Week activities.

Nike Releases New Penn State Sneakers

Penn State Parking Office Runs Into Student Permit Purchase Issues

Plans Submitted For New KFC In State College

Developers have submitted preliminary land development plans to build a new KFC restaurant at 1780 S. Atherton St. in State College.

Join Onward State: Fall 2018 Application

Onward State is hiring for the fall semester and we’d love to have you join us.

Start The Semester Off Right With These Welcome Week Activities

Don your brightly-colored college shirt and officially begin your Penn State career with these Welcome Week activities.

Be the first to know

  • Top posts and the best Penn State stories

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.

Assessing Penn State’s Front Seven Following Tuesday’s Medical Retirements

Penn State’s defensive line rotation will be shaken up following Ryan Buchholz’s medical retirement from football, while the coaching staff is letting the linebackers duel it out during camp.

Send this to a friend