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Google Buys Onward State

Last night,  leadership of Onward State met with senior Google Executives Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Eric Schmidt to close a deal many months in the making.

Google approached Onward State in December with an offer of $1.2 million in cash and an additional $3.7 million in shares of the technology giant. After much wheeling and dealing, Onward State staff convinced Google to also implement their new 1GB high speed internet project in State College.

Dorm residents will unfortunately continue to face slower-than-molasses internet speeds and the same download/upload limits as you did before. Only residents of State College will benefit from incredible internet speeds.

Google CEO Eric Schmidt cited several reasons for their purchase of Onward State in a press release early this morning:

We felt that Onward State really represents the exciting growth of news distribution. Newspapers simply can’t offer the same level of interaction or insight that Twitter-wielding bloggers can. Plus the Collegian’s constant misspelling of THON for the past several years just made me angry, so I wanted to do something to spite them.

Schmidt, who has been known to regularly buy companies to add to Google’s portfolio without telling anyone, heard of Onward State by means of its production editor Mitch Rukat. Schmidt and Rukat met last year while playing in a Call of Duty tournament (Schmidt affirms that he let Rukat win the match).

Onward State Publisher Davis Shaver shared his thoughts about the deal immediately after Google’s Press Conference:

We’re really excited about this deal and can’t wait to see what the future holds for Onward State. It is now possible for us to purchase the Collegian outright and become the sole source of news for the University. Don’t worry, though, we’ll have plenty of money leftover after purchasing the Collegian to pay our staff and upgrade our offices from this hellhole we currently work at.

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About the Author

Steve S.

Steve Sharer is a Security and Risk Analysis major and an overall good guy. He brings Onward State readers enticing posts such as "Question of the Day" and "Campus Explorer" and will continue to do so until he becomes the President of the United States of America in 2024.

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