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Munchies Beware: Police To Use Lionmenus to Track Potheads

In an effort to crack down on marijuana use in State College, police are taking a rather unorthodox approach to crime-fighting by using the popular food-ordering website Lionmenus. A spokesman for the State College Police said of the new initiative:

We were brainstorming the other day, and we thought, what do people who smoke weed like the most? And the answer was easy– food delivered straight to their door. So we partnered up with Lionmenus and obtained their records of delivery orders, and the results are promising so far. We already have over 5000 suspects that order from Lionmenus on a daily basis.

Police say establishment targets of interest include Wings Over Happy Valley, Insomnia Cookies, R U Hungry, and Philly Pretzels. There are others, but due to the secrecy of the operation, police have declined to give any more details about which restaurants they’re targeting.

Arrests so far, however, have not gone over so smoothly. In a series of raids conducted Wednesday night, the police came up empty-handed, instead hauling away over 50 obese students, all of whom had fit the profile. After searching through stacks and stacks and stacks of delivery food boxes and bags in the apartments of the obese students, the police again came up empty handed and no marijuana was found in any of the places that they searched.

State College Police Chief Michael Westen in a press conference Thursday morning, said of the raids and of the obtaining of warrants for such activities:

Yes, the raids have so far proven to be unsuccessful. We’re still working out some new leads. As for the warrants, I’m new on the job, were we supposed to get those?

Many students are outraged at the recent raids and are fearful of ever ordering from Lionmenus again. Dana Johnson, senior-finance major, said:

Lionmenus is so convenient, but if by ordering from them, I’m also subjecting myself to a police raid, I think I’ll just call in my order. If they want to catch potheads, in my opinion, just put out fliers that advertise free weed giveaways at the head shops downtown.

The issue doesn’t seem to be going away, and police say that if this initiative doesn’t produce effective enough results, they’ll be forced to move towards more drastic measures. Officials refused to comment more on said “drastic measures,” but they warned that they would be severe.

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About the Author

Tom Kent

I was born in Virginia Beach, raised in Westfield, NJ, went to college at Penn State, moved to Miami, FL. Peruvian on mom's side and English on my Dad's. I'm a Journalism major and Political Science minor. I do not currently own any reptiles.

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