Tiger Woods, famous golfer, sports icon, and man whore will be coming to Eisenhower next week to speak to students about the dangers of ‘sexting.’ As everyone on the planet is aware, Woods was recently involved in a incredibly entertaining scandal, in which it came out that he had a multitude of mistresses and it ended with him attending a sex rehab clinic.

But Woods should know more than anyone that ‘sexting’ is a dangerous game to play, and that all information transmitted via the internet or cell phone can always be retraced and then shown on ESPN or CNN over and over again until your career is pretty much destroyed.

Penn State officials have said that Woods had made a few unorthodox demands, including:

• Meeting the Penn State cheerleaders
• Keys to all sorority houses on campus
• The VIP room at Mezzanine
• Complete and utter privacy during his stay at the Nittany Lion Inn
• The banning of any Swedish models from campus grounds

Woods will hold a brief conference on how to avoid getting caught while ‘sexting,’ how to delete such messages from your phone, and the more appropriate forms of ‘sexting,’ that he says:

May not be entirely legal, but won’t land you in jail or sex rehab

Woods will appear for only a short period in Eisenhower, however, before he is whisked away to his hotel room.

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