Rob Bolden Re-Opens Recruitment After New Discovery
After getting his hard drive wiped clean by Penn State ITS consultants this past week, Penn State quarterback Rob Bolden needs to set his bookmarks back up again. As many of his Twitter followers know, Bolden cannot get enough Wings Over Happy Valley, so he went into Google to find the site and favorite it once again.
Linking to the Wings Over website for the first time ever, Bolden was surprised and delighted to see that his favorite late-night treat was found in more cities than State College. Due to this startling development in the life of the Michigan native, Bolden has decided to re-open his recruitment, much to the delight of one Matt McGloin.
“You know, after everything that happened last season, I really wanted to get out of Penn State,” Bolden acknowledged in a phone interview on Thursday night. “After my discussion with Coach Paterno, I decided that I would stay because I didn’t know where else I was going to find wings with such great taste. Now that I know of the entire Wings Over franchise, I’m blowing the lid off of this popsicle stand!”
Teams high on the the soon-to-be sophomore signal caller’s list are Connecticut, Northwestern, Michigan State, North Carolina, Syracuse and Ohio State, which all not surprisingly have Wings Over franchises.
Fellow quarterbacks Kevin Newsome and Paul Jones offered their best wishes to Bolden as he begins to decide the next part of his playing career, but McGloin was too much of a dick to say anything nice (let alone anything we can publish on this site) when reached for comment.
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Tim’s Law adds stricter penalties for hazing, as well as provides requirements for institutions and includes immunity for those who call for medical attention in hazing emergencies.
Sean Spencer’s Wild Dogs have now accumulated 25 sacks on the season, securing 25 turkeys to be donated to the State College Food Bank at Thanksgiving.
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