Mascot Arrested, Faces Probation and Possible Jail Time

At 2:28 this morning, State College Police apprehended the infamous Nookie Monster, heading east on Curtin Road on his way back to Medlar Field. Police found 750 grams of chocolate chip cookies stuffed in his mouth, and he is now the primary suspect for Thursday’s cookie heist at West Commons.

The crumbs on his fur gave us probable cause to search him,” said State College Police Chief Tom King. King went on to say that it took six officers to take down and handcuff the suspect, and witnesses were covered in blue fur that flew off during the struggle.

As many on campus know, West’s cookies are among the most sought after commodities in the state of Pennsylvania, and, to some, in the country. Their street value ranges somewhere between $40-50 per pound. It had not been determined at the time of arrest whether the Nookie Monster intended to sell the stolen cookies.

The Nookie Monster was unavailable for comment…as usual.

About the Author

John Tecce

John is a senior in the Smeal College of Business majoring in Marketing. He currently serves as the President of the Paternoville Coordination Committee and as a THON Chair for Nittany Nation. He tweets a lot.


Facebook Comments BBUI

Other stories

Send this to a friend