Finally, after months of excruciating labor and countless hours of crunching numbers, Playboy Magazine has named their Top 10 Party Schools. The Big Ten had two spots on the list, with the University of Wisconsin at #6 and our good ol’ alma mater coming in at #2. Topping the list of debauchery was the University of Colorado at Boulder. Presumably, PSU lacked the necessary amount of “Oh God, I am freezing my ass off” for first place.

According to Playboy’s site (link is NSFW even for people who only “read the articles”), the numbers were tabulated using social media outlets, on-campus reps across the country, and interviews with only the most promiscuous of scholars. Additional stats used include sports team winning percentage, music scene, academics (that’s a good one), male/female ratio, and proximity to beaches and ski slopes.

While many would assume Pennsylvania lost out due a secret bias toward states that are perfect rectangles, Playboy claims that CU-Boulder is “reefer madness.” The ample supply of medicinal marijuana in addition to a beer surplus gave CU-Boulder the edge. The fact that Penn Staters don’t require recreational drugs to be stupid and/or lazy drew no sympathy from the researchers.