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Distraction of the Day: Me

Hey there. I bet you’re neck-deep in finals and papers right now. How about a study break?

Today, from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m., I will be hanging out at Irving’s. Come hang out with me! Here are some frequently asked questions about hanging out with me:

Who are you?

I’m glad you asked. I’m Evan Kalikow. I’m a senior here at Penn State and one of the founding members of Onward State.

Why are you dedicating 4 hours of your life to hang out with random people from the internet?

Well, I’m done with finals and I don’t want to just watch Friday Night Lights in my apartment all day.

What are your interests?

Great question! Aside from studying in bars, playing dodgeball, visiting shitty classrooms, and guest appearing on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show, I like listening to/playing music, making jokes, and having meaningful/buzzworthy conversations.

Don’t you have other friends that you could be hanging out with, you dumb loser?


How will I find you?

Look at the picture in this post. That’s me.

Will you help me study?

Sure, but results not guaranteed.

By saying that you won’t be home from 3 to 7, aren’t you putting your apartment at risk of being robbed?

Please don’t rob me.

So there you have it. Stop on by Irving’s and I’ll distract you from your work. Either that or I’ll just sit alone for a few hours and weep–I’m fine with either. See you today!

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About the Author

Evan Kalikow

Evan Kalikow co-founded Onward State in November 2008 with Davis Shaver and Eli Glazier. Having previously served as a Writer, Editor, Standards Editor, and Community Manager, Evan is now a proud alumnus of both Onward State and Penn State. He was also named "Person of the Year" by Time Magazine in 2006.


Other posts by Evan

The Importance of Beards: Why Harry S Truman Should Have Been Hairy S Truman

Co-Founder Evan Kalikow outlines the importance of beard’s in today’s society and the problems that have arisen in America’s foreign policy efforts because of clean-shaven authority figures.

Evan’s Senior Column: Let’s Get Weird

10 Questions With Ludacris [VIDEO]

Join Onward State: Spring 2019 Application

Want to be a part of the nation’s premier student-run media outlet? Want to have your words read or your pictures seen by hundreds of thousands of readers and social media followers?

Penn State Urges Legislators, Administration To End Government Shutdown

“As we work together to make the impact as least disruptive as possible to our students and employees, we strongly urge Congress and the president to end this impasse.”

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