Topics

More

Onward Date: The Foreigner and the Photographer

We decided to experiment a bit this Valentine’s Day with some Onward State staff dates. We created a compatibility test and used a complex algorithm to match up staff members. The following is the story of Melanie and David’s romantic adventure.

Melanie: David picked me up in STYLE by handing me a rose he printed out minutes before leaving for our date.
David: I thought of getting her flowers, but completely ran out of time. Decided to google “flower,” and print out the first thing that looked like a rose. Golden.

Melanie: He then brought me to…McDonald’s. I thought he was joking.

David: I think she thought McDonald’s was a joke…

Melanie: Needless to say, I wouldn’t eat there.

David: She ACTUALLY refused to eat there. Come on, the Shamrock Shake is back!

Melanie: Good thing I wasn’t hungry. Instead, we decided to find a silly gift to exchange with one another.

David: Really. She picked out Magnums… What do I look like?!

Melanie:  He didn’t appreciate the condom joke. But he really thought I would like those candy hearts? Noooope! This compatibility test thing was NOT working out.

David:  Whatever, the good part of the date is only now coming up.

Melanie: Oh, yay! At least we were going to see a show at The State Theatre.

David:  I messed up. Big time.

Melanie:  It was closed. He had gotten the date of the show wrong.

David:  WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!?!?!?

Melanie: Eff it.

David: “Want to grab a drink at the Deli?”

Melanie: “Only if we can get dessert.”

David: “Done.”

  

Melanie: After the awkwardness passed, we got along pretty well. If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d definitely talk to him again.

David: Drinks and sugar work wonders. If she didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d definitely ask her out on another date. Taco Bell and a HUB movie?

Your ad blocker is on.

Please choose an option below.

Sign up for our e-mail newsletter:
OR
Support quality journalism:
Purchase a Subscription!

About the Author

Staff

Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

Analyzing Post-SMU Reactions For Penn State Football

Time to Fiesta, folks.

Three-Star Wide Receiver Devonte Ross Transfers To Penn State Football

Ross, who has one year of eligibility left, totaled 129 catches, 1,618 yards, and 14 touchdowns across three seasons with Troy.

Penn State Football Set As 11-Point Favorites Over Boise State

The Nittany Lions are 12-0 this year as favorites.

113kFollowers
164kFollowers
63.1kFollowers
4,570Subscribers
Sign up for our Newsletter