Topics

More

Onward Date: The Foreigner and the Photographer

We decided to experiment a bit this Valentine’s Day with some Onward State staff dates. We created a compatibility test and used a complex algorithm to match up staff members. The following is the story of Melanie and David’s romantic adventure.

Melanie: David picked me up in STYLE by handing me a rose he printed out minutes before leaving for our date.
David: I thought of getting her flowers, but completely ran out of time. Decided to google “flower,” and print out the first thing that looked like a rose. Golden.

Melanie: He then brought me to…McDonald’s. I thought he was joking.

David: I think she thought McDonald’s was a joke…

Melanie: Needless to say, I wouldn’t eat there.

David: She ACTUALLY refused to eat there. Come on, the Shamrock Shake is back!

Melanie: Good thing I wasn’t hungry. Instead, we decided to find a silly gift to exchange with one another.

David: Really. She picked out Magnums… What do I look like?!

Melanie:  He didn’t appreciate the condom joke. But he really thought I would like those candy hearts? Noooope! This compatibility test thing was NOT working out.

David:  Whatever, the good part of the date is only now coming up.

Melanie: Oh, yay! At least we were going to see a show at The State Theatre.

David:  I messed up. Big time.

Melanie:  It was closed. He had gotten the date of the show wrong.

David:  WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?!?!?!?

Melanie: Eff it.

David: “Want to grab a drink at the Deli?”

Melanie: “Only if we can get dessert.”

David: “Done.”

  

Melanie: After the awkwardness passed, we got along pretty well. If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d definitely talk to him again.

David: Drinks and sugar work wonders. If she didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d definitely ask her out on another date. Taco Bell and a HUB movie?

Your ad blocker is on.

Please choose an option below.

Sign up for our e-mail newsletter:
OR
Support quality journalism:
Purchase a Subscription!

About the Author

Staff

Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.

‘It Was A Pretty Memorable Experience’: Penn State Club Baseball Wins Back-To-Back National Titles

After winning the Club Baseball World Series in 2023, the team repeated in 2024.

Four-Star Running Back Jabree Wallace-Coleman Commits To Penn State Football

Wallace-Coleman’s commitment came one day after the team lost a commitment from four-star running back Alvin Henderson.

Report: Penn State Hoops Finalizing December 21 Game Against Drexel

The game would take place at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, per Rocco Miller.

113kFollowers
164kFollowers
59.8kFollowers
4,570Subscribers