Ever since Grillers was shut down by the State College Department of Ordinance Enforcement & Public Health (those clean-freak bastards), I have been in a state of mourning. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and now my vision is failing me because I’ve been operating on a crying cycle that restarts every 43 minutes. MY LIFE REALLY SUCKS. I’ve never experienced heartbreak like this before. So on Friday night, when I was drinking underage and heard the news whilst stumbling my way over to Beaver Ave., I was an emotional wreck. Don’t get it twisted– I wasn’t the drunk crying chick (because she always sucks), but more of the unable to speak, think, staring out into the distance kind of traumatized chick. Luckily, I was pointed in the direction of Billy O’s.

What is Billy O’s, you ask? Let start with the basics. It’s new. It’s located at 431 East Beaver Ave (next to Zen Wings and Things). It claims to serve the “Best Hot Dogs in State College”, but offers various other greasy digestive disasters on its menu. It’s not on LionMenus yet. It’s incredible. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you your Grillers rebound:

The important thing to note is that the above pictured cheesesteak not only looks disgusting but it was DELICIOUS. It was also prepared by a motley crew of characters. There was a chick working the register who was moderately good looking and blonde, which is any drunk bro’s kryptonite, who answered all my obnoxious questions patiently and passed no judgement on my precarious state. The guys working the grill included one skinny, punky kid and a huge, terrifying man who kinda seemed sober, but in reality was probably just good at hiding how astronomically high he was. This, of course, is probably just because they’re new. Grillers employees were never trying to hide how messed up they were. As my friend put it,

“I loved how the guys behind the counter were always stoned…and if YOU were stoned they knew…just looking at them in the eyes it was like the secret nod.”

Grillers was also the only place where this would happen:

Right.

The only downsides (as I saw them) are that they don’t really have any seating, so try to keep that in mind should you need somewhere to collapse and shovel down your fries. It also was a little too sterile in my opinion, which in my estimation (and that of the Board of Health) is a departure from my old beau Grillers.  I acknowledge that I may be in the minority, so this may come as good news for most.

In short, until Grillers fakes being clean enough to operate, leave your dignity at Billy O’s door. It’s worth it.

Maggie McGlinchy (@magsmcglinchy) is a sophomore from New Jersey majoring in Hanging Out and Late Night Onion Ring Consumption.