The Top 5 Worst Roommates at Penn State

College is a monumental step in anyone’s life. You go from living under the watchful eyes of your parents into the world of cooking and cleaning (sometimes) for yourself and living with others. Some get lucky and end up with great roommates who become lifelong friends. Others aren’t so lucky.

With that said, we at Onward State asked you, our loyal readers, to submit your worst roommate experiences. We narrowed down all the submissions to the worst and most nightmarish five roommates. Here’s what the “finalists” had to offer about their roommates in their own words:

5. That Looks Healthy!

This person who submitted their roommate let the photos do the explaining by saying simply:

“The picture I’ve attached is the story itself. This is how my former roommate lived.” 

4. “She Showers Once a Week!”

My roommate is a nightmare. She showers once a week, she does laundry about once a month, and her room smells so badly you can smell it from outside of the apartment. I buy new air fresheners every week because they have to work so hard!

Anyway, this girl eats my food that I sharpie my name on, leaves her Ramen packets littering the kitchen, and for some reason has food bits everywhere. She uses my dishes and leaves them in the sink for weeks until I can’t take the mold and bacteria anymore and finally do them. My boyfriend comes over and dry heaves as soon as he walks in the door because she is so nasty. She never takes out the trash, even if it is over-flowing. The best part? The day we met, this girl said she’s a freak about personal hygiene.

She meets guys on XBOX Live and brings someone new over every night. Just about every night, and especially right before I have exams at 8 am or need to be awake at 5 am for work, she and her random new guy that’s on probation for God knows what are up screaming obscenities at the TV in the living room until 4 am or later.

The bills that we are supposed to split are in my name and directly debited from my bank account, and she hasn’t paid me in two months. She leaves the front door unlocked, and someone has just walked into our apartment multiple times because of it. If there is a blacklist for roommates, she would be at the top. I have had my share of bad roommates, but she by far takes (and eats) the cake.

3. Glee, Scabies, and a Hooker! 

My freshman year, I had a supplemental room with 3 beds. I originally had one roommate, and the second scheduled roommate — an exchange student from Korea — never came. The room was handicap accessible (although neither of us were handicapped) so it had an inordinate amount of floor space and its own bathroom and handicap accessible shower.

Sometime in October we were notified that someone needed a roommate switch and was looking to transfer into our room since we had a 3rd bed free. We met with him and didn’t click, but he still moved in. It’s best to just put what he did in bullets:

  • His alarm clock was “Glee” on surround sound on full blast. We told him to turn it down, he cried and said he had a problem waking up.
  • He was adamant about meeting and sleeping with older men on Craigslist. He was open about his sexuality.
  • He brought scabies back to the room and didn’t tell either one of us (he got it from a craigslist guy).
  • He brought a female prostitute back to the room when we were out. When we came back we saw her sitting on my TV stand drinking my whiskey out of the bottle.
  • He slept with a “blankie”. He also used the blankie as a bath towel.
  • He belted “Glee” when he was in the shower.
  • He stayed up until 3am watching “Roseanne” on surround sound.
  • He shaved over the sink and didn’t clean it (while he had scabies).
  • He never left the room. Ever.

2. Ketchup and Candle Wax? “Had to be Done!”

My roommate tends to get a bit destructive when he’s blacked out. In fact, me and my four other roommates named his drunken alter ego “Klaus the Destructor”. He has put probably 8-10 holes into the walls of our apartment. This particular hole, however, was a special hole from Klaus.

He stumbled home from a long day of drinking and decided that it was time for another hole in the wall! He punched and kicked a massive hole, but he wasn’t finished there. He set his eyes upon the ketchup bottle sitting out on the living room table and artfully squirted the remainder into the hole. He wasn’t done there. He picked up the candle that was probably burning on our table for the entire day and poured red candle wax all over the wall! This was the result:

In his blacked out state, he just kept saying that it “had to be done”. The next day, he presented flawless logic as to why this was not his fault. “I don’t remember doing it, so it’s not my fault!”

After nearly 2 months of covering it with posters and ignoring it, he eventually “cleaned” it. It now looks like this:

 1. …”The Jizz Covered Towel/Pillow”

My roommate didn’t get sheets for his bed until two months into the semester. Sheets aside, he also used his showering towel as pillow!

It gets worse though. I once walked in on him jacking off, using that SAME TOWEL as a cover!

Between the never-ending stench of rotten Indian food, the jizzed covered towel/pillow, and sheetless bed I think you may have found the most miserable freshman of all.

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About the Author

Sam Cooper

Sam is a senior originally from Newtown, PA who majors in print journalism and is a member of the John Curley Center for Sports Journalism. His athletic peak was age 11 so he decided to grow a beard and write about sports instead.

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