The Alternate THON Line Dance
As we’re all counting down the hours to the real line dance, we thought it’d be fun to come up with one of our own…
Chambers gives ten bucks a head,
It’s attitude he wants to spread.
SuePa goes on Katie’s Show,
To tell her story and defend Joe.
The Superbowl lost half its lights,
Ray Ray’s statue will be a sight.
We found out that Lance had cheated,
All those years he had competed.
Te’o’s sad girlfriend story breaks,
Then we found his love was fake.
Nev can help you Facebook creep,
Baumgartner took a giant leap.
Subway’s footlongs are only 10,
Don’t play Gangnam Style ever again.
Snooki had a baby boy,
Grumpy cat can find no joy.
Duck Dynasty and Honey Boo Boo,
Buckwild is a disgrace, too.
YOLO became the newest phrase,
While dubstep is the latest craze.
Obama gets 4 more in DC,
Binders full of women we’ll never get to see.
The iPhone 5 was nothing new,
The Walking Dead will come after you.
Carly Rae will call you, maybe,
Blue Ivy’s now the illest baby.
Twilight goes down in history with a splat,
Ain’t nobody got time for ‘dat.
UNC can fake their A’s,
And they’ll still get Mark Emmert’s praise.
NCAA is such a joke,
Justin Bieber caught taking a smoke.
We love to Instagram our food,
And Fifty Shades will get you in the mood.
For Magic Mike, we’re all suckers,
O’Brien’s got a bunch of…fighters.
In Hunger Games the winner was clear,
As tribute, I will volunteer.
Katy and Russell call it quits,
Taylor Swift had so many splits.
The Dark Knight rose and so did Bane,
They still don’t know that he’s Bruce Wayne?
McKayla Maroney was not impressed,
With Lochte girls were all obsessed.
All of these things changed the earth,
Even Kim and Kanye’s future birth.
But no matter what happens for years to come,
Each THON weekend we will succumb,
To bubbles, balloons, and water gun fights,
To staying awake for two whole nights.
To being strong for those who can’t,
Like our brothers, sisters, uncles, and aunts.
Each February we’ll stand tall,
For those kids who are so small.
They’re tougher than we’ll ever know,
We just want to watch them grow.
We’ll cry tears of joy and some of laughter,
For those who we yearn to look after.
Tomorrow’s miracles we will inspire,
They’re the ones that we admire.
So this weekend the message is,
For the cure and for the kids!
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About the Author
“Tim’s Law,” the Timothy J. Piazza Anti-Hazing Law, was approved by the Pennsylvania Senate Monday. The legislation is named after Tim Piazza, who died following a hazing ritual at the on-campus Beta Theta Pi fraternity house in February 2017. Now that it’s been passed by both Pennsylvania’s Senate and House of Representatives, the bill will move […]
“I’ll have a scarlet kidney but a heart that beats blue and white.”
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