Penn State and Twitter go hand-in-hand. If you’ve ever found yourself perusing the twittersphere on a Penn State football game day — checking out the #pennstate stream of consciousness tweets of overenthusiastic Penn State fans — you know what I mean. The thing is, you’ll find yourself reading the same types of tweets over and over again. The repetitive nature of these tweets is born out of the very nature of these spirited individuals, of which there are really only ten different kinds. They can be hyped-up students, jaded alumni, Penn State moms, or none of the above. Regardless of their connection to Penn State, they all hail under the banner of devoted fans, in one form or another. Here’s an immersive guide to the different kinds of tweeters you’ll find yourself face-to-face with on game day:

The Analyst These go-getters are rampant on twitter, live-tweeting every play of the game with statistics in an effort to demonstrate not only their devotion to the team and its efforts, but also to show that they really know what they’re talking about.

First time for that look – 2 TEs, 2 WRs to the far side, ran Coleman in motion towards WR, called Roberson QB sweep away from the formation — David Novak (@DaveNovakWGCL) October 5, 2013

The Cheerleader No matter what, when goings get tough, the cheerleaders will pick up your spirits. They always have words of inspiration like “go state,” or “We are!” for those of us who are too busy with checking twitter to actually be paying attention to the game. These folks are sure that all of their electronic pep will bring the team out of whatever hole it has gotten itself into.

Lets go state!! #psu — av_sauce (@AvneePatel) October 5, 2013

THE ALL CAPS Nothing is more exciting in these enthusiasts’ lives than a good ol’ fashion pig skin game. Just thinking about the kickoff or a well-earned touchdown gets their blood pumping and their minds’ racing. With all of the excitement of a football game underfoot, they really just can’t help but release the tension by shouting it to the entire Twittersphere.

ALLEN ROBINSON IS SO GOOD — Bill DiFilippo (@bflip33) October 5, 2013

The Hater These guys just don’t know how to express themselves properly. When something goes poorly, they know that they’re upset, and they channel all of this negative energy into some sort of anti Penn State tirade. No matter how disgruntled they may be, we can rest assured they have the best interest of the team at heart.

We are! Real Shitty! We Are! Fuckin Garbage! We are! Gonna lose to Indiana for the first time ever! #PSU — Casper (@KingQuayvis) October 5, 2013

The Troll We are all familiar with trolls. They are the hecklers under the bridge, the jokesters who never heard the motto ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Sarcasm is their middle name.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. #psu — Brian Hofmann (@BrianHofmann48) October 5, 2013

The #Drunj With Penn State football inevitably comes drinking. With drinking inevitably comes drunk tweeting. So, both those who hope to drown their sorrows and those who wish to celebrate a much needed victory with the devil’s drink will, sooner or later, find themselves on twitter expressing their love at the sport or their outrage at some of the clearly mis-refereeing.

The best way to forget about that loss… #Drink #Drank #Drunk #PSU — Brian Sangrey (@sangrey917) October 5, 2013

 The Subtweeter There are those of us who are decidedly underhanded in their approach to disappointment. Those people are called subtweeters. They see an opportunity to criticize the modus operandi of a particular celebrity, frenemy, or sports icon, but they aren’t quite confident enough to let this person be aware of the assholery. As such, they resort to the act of subtweeting, or tweeting about the person without giving them a notification.

I think today officially ends any and all talk of O’Brien getting an NFL head coaching gig. #PSU #trash — Jed Lewis (@JedLewis3) October 5, 2013

The Joe Pa Revivalist The good old days. The golden era of Penn State Football. We all know that Joe was the man who brought the Nittany Lions to the spotlight, and we all wish those days could last forever. Sometimes this desire gets too strong, and we publicize it.

#JOEPA please reincarnate yourself we need you! #WeAre #gettingslaughtered — Dustin Young (@Dustin__Young) October 5, 2013

The Overly Brief These people know they have 140-characters to work with, but they only need a handful to get their disappointment across.

Logs off — Evil Bill O’Brien (@evilbillobrien) October 5, 2013

The Optimist So, we may be getting our asses kicked by some mediocre team (read: Indiana), but fortunately for these Penn State supporters, they can always see the bright side. “Sure, we may be sucking right now, but Allen Robinson is looking awfully sharp!”  These people give me hope.

Couldn’t be more excited to go to the penn state football game next weekend #psu#Michigan — Dylan Abplanalp (@DylanAbplanalp) October 5, 2013

 
The Wannabe Head Coach Like the analyst, these are the members of the audience who really know what’s going on behind the scenes. They see our football team for what it really is. As such, they obviously have the moral fortitude and civic obligation to give our head coach their two-cents as to what should be done about our coaching staff.

John Butler might be in a little over his head as the defensive coordinator at #PSU. Defense consistently looks confused and overmatched. — Ryan Hess (@Hesel711) October 5, 2013

So there it is.  While some of these entities may be confusing in their approach to Penn State Football, it’s important to remember that they all love the team just the same.  They just show their affection in different ways. Notice any other game day Tweeters clogging your timeline? Let us know in the comments.