We here at Onward State love offensive line coach/running game coordinator Herb Hand so much that he may need to look into a restraining order. His excellence at Twitter has been well documented, and on Thursday evening, Hand showed why his account is so fantastic.

Things started out innocently, when Hand quoted a pair of tweets from his daughter’s account, both featuring pictures of his daughter, Bailey. Standard practice for a father on Twitter who is proud of his daughter.

These pictures caught the eye of Penn State student Christopher Lorah, who asked for Bailey’s number. Herb Hand, like a father would, shot that down immediately in the most wonderful way possible.

@CHRIStalBaller Sure 46 6’2 250 / my age, height&weight cuz that’s what you’d be dealing with.

— Herb Hand (@CoachHand) February 7, 2014

For most people, that would have been a kill shot. However, Lorah was persistent, and said that he isn’t liking his chances as much anymore. Hand replied again, this time with a clip from Dumb and Dumber. Seriously.

@CHRIStalBaller Lloyd Christmas has better chances. http://t.co/y5de32WQHS

— Herb Hand (@CoachHand) February 7, 2014

At this point, Hand had beaten Lorah like he stole something. On my unofficial scorecard, I have Hand ahead so thoroughly that there’s nothing Lorah could do. Not even using a silly meme. Which is exactly what he did.

Of course, Herb Hand isn’t the kind of man to lay around, so he responded one last time, completely shutting Lorah down. While Lorah got the last word, it was all for naught, as Hand already asserted his dominance in the exchange.

@CoachHand Will do coach, it’s pretty sweet to have a staff that interacts with fans/students. So excited for the season to start. #CantWait

— Christopher Lorah (@CHRIStalBaller) February 7, 2014

What could be next on the never ending adventure that is Herb Hand’s awesome Twitter account? We have no idea, but we can’t wait to see what Hand has in store.