Overheard At The Mifflin Streak
As is tradition, on the Sunday before exam week, the 37th Annual Mifflin Streak took place last night. As an alum, a foreigner, and somebody that never attended the Streak, I decided to check it out. What I heard, I decided to share, so here it is: the Overheard at the Mifflin Streak.
Group of girls yelling upstream: “SARAH! TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF! Do it! JUST DO IT! SARAH!”
Surprised girl: “WOW, that kid is all IDGAF, YOLO and like all those other acronyms.”
Her friend: “What? Why?”
Surprised girl: “Because I’m pretty sure he’s my TA.”
Guy: “I think I saw my quota of penises for the day.”
*large groups of guys streaks by*
Guy: “I guess it’s my quota for the month, now.”
Girl in sorority letter hoodie: “Is she wearing tassels on her nipples? Wait, so are they. Is this a thing now? Why did nobody tell me? I’m so behind the times…”
Guy that was bundled up: “We should give the guys some credit, it’s really reeeeally cold out here.”
Judgmental girl: “Seriously? She’s wearing a bikini, that’s totally against the rules. Next year I’m not doing it if any of you bitches doesn’t go full monty.”
Group of girls chanting: “SARAH! SARAH! SARAH! COME ON SARAH!”
Streaker with an American flag draped around his neck: “Freedom!!!!”
Germophobe: “I’m not high-fiving any dude! You KNOW they gave their private parts a little tug before they went out, you know, for size.”
Slightly amused girl: “Is he wearing a cockring?”
Guy explaining the lower end of the streak to his buddy: “And this is the pervert section, where you can get a real good look at them, because, you know, they have to stop here and shit.”
Tall guy using his phone’s flash as a light: “Tig ol’ bitties! Heck yeah!”
Kid behind him: “YEAAAAH! BOOOOOOOOBS”
Streaker walking slowly, touching himself: “I’m trying to get it up for you guys.”
A larger section of the crowd: “SARAH! DO IT! SARAH! SARAH! SARAH! SARAH! SARAH! SARAH!”
Oblivious guy, to the girls wearing robes, walking up Mifflin: “Congrats! Great job!”
All the girls: *death stares*
Pervert to his buddy: “No, I think all the breasts tonight were great. Good diversity, too. Even on the bouncy ones.”
Group of girls planning next year: “So, do we run holding our clothes?”
Guy from behind them butting in: “Nah, you get your friends to run alongside you and take your clothes with them.”
Other guy next to him: “Nope, what you do is have an extra set of clothes you place at the end of the run and then you go back up, streak and boom! You’re getting dressed right there.”
Girls: “Good thinking.”
Second guy: “Yeah, thanks, I’m an engineer.”
Girl taking off her clothes: “I’m a junior, but I’m doing it this year, too. I just want to do it right my senior year.”
Guy overthinking things: “Someone should streak up the road, you know, like a salmon.”
Girl towards the back of the line: “Is he taking selfies? OMG, he’s taking selfies!”
Her friend: “I’m pretty sure that’s like illegal, right?”
Kid in boxers walking up the street: “I’ll tell you something, this road turned out to be longer than I remembered it.”
Skittish girl: “Ew, a penis!”
Girl behind her, under her breath: “What did you expect?”
Group asynchronously yelling: “SA-RAH! SA-RAH! SA-RAH! SA-RAH!”
Pretty much a racist: “I think that one guy is on the football team.”
Her friend: “You’re pretty much a racist, girl. You’re saying that just because he’s black.”
Horny guy: “If it were me carrying the girl on my shoulders while streaking, I’d flip her around, and you know, make her enjoy the streak even more. Wink, wink.”
His best friend: “You wouldn’t be able to see anything and you’d trip and fall, dumbass.”
Bored freshman: “I came out here for this? This is a stupid tradition! If I want to see tits and ass, I’ll just watch porn. I’m going back to studying.”
Jokester: “This should be a 5K.”
Even larger section of the crowd: “Sarah! Sarah! SARAH! SARAH!”
Kid further in the back: “Wait, who’s Sarah? Maybe she already went. Do we know if she already went?
Girl next to him: “I don’t think anybody knows anything at this point.”
Kid: “Then why are we still yelling her name?”
Girl: “Because people keep starting the chant!”
Amused kid: “We should all write to Onward State and ask about who Sarah is and why she didn’t streak.”
Well, kid, you got your wish.
If you heard better, funnier things at the Mifflin Streak, let us know in the comments.
David Morar is an alum of Penn State and Onward State’s former social media manager. He’s currently a PhD student in the D.C. area, and you can follow him on the twitters at @morar.
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About the Author
If you’ve ever found yourself tripping over the words of the Alma Mater at the end of a football game, now you can study them up and practice while walking through the HUB.
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