Franco Harris Is Planning Weddings Now
“In the 70s, I had my Immaculate Reception on the field. And now I’m making a comeback on the dance floor.”
So begins Franco Harris’ website for his wedding planning venture, “Immaculate Receptions.” And, amazingly, that last sentence is not something I fabricated.
Named after his famous catch in the 1972 NFL playoffs, the former Penn State and Pittsburgh Steeler running back promises that he will “take care of every aspect of your special day.” Among other things, he’ll walk you down the aisle, marry you, toss the bouquet, DJ, and, most importantly, jump out of the wedding cake.
The website is littered with truly incredible photos of Franco that apparently prove his ability to emcee your special day, such as:
The website includes a timeline of the former Steeler’s career, which jumps right from his induction into the Hall of Fame in 1990 to wedding planning in 2015, so I can’t be sure how he is credentialed for such a role in life. But fear not, Harris lovers — the customer reviews are sterling. Let’s check some out:
“Happy bride” Chelsea Graham says: “On our special night, Franco made removing my garter smooth and easy. It was truly a night to remember.” Nice!
“Glowing bride” Rachel Jacobs gushes: “Having Franco be there for every aspect of my wedding was really special. Everyone loved when he jumped out of the wedding cake. Go Steelers!” Hell yeah!
“Confused groom” Adam Jones states: “Franco’s a great guy, but I’m not sure how I felt about him going on my honeymoon. Got a little awkward.” Um, OK!
With reviews like that, it’s no surprise Harris is booked until 2020. And you know what, who cares that the whole thing is just an elaborate advertising hoax by website-building company Wix and Harris isn’t actually a wedding planner. I cannot encourage you enough to peruse the website. Keep doing you, Franco!
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About the Author
Sandy Barbour will make an average of $1,269,000 per year as part of the new deal, which runs through August 2023.
With more than 500 songs and a run-time of more than 30 hours, this playlist will make it seem like THON never ended.
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