The 10 Most Annoying Classmates Everyone Has
The semester is in full swing, which means students are probably taking notice of their most annoying peers. While many students struggle to make any sort of lasting impression upon others in giant, mostly silent lecture halls, certain special students find ways to stand out from the pack. Let’s break down the 10 most annoying types of classmates.
10. The Overachiever
If you already have a 97 percent in the class, why are you begging the teacher for one more point on your quiz? Overachievers obsess over each and every graded assignment, sometimes sinking to demeaning levels in order to “earn” the grade they so desire. While a focus on grades should generally be encouraged, when it reaches the point of pathetic groveling then maybe it is time to relax. I’m sure you will get an A in the class anyway.
9. The Awkward Teacher’s Pet
Standard teacher’s pets are bad enough, but when these typical annoyances find themselves equipped with subpar social skills, things can get weird fast. In my Econ lecture last week, a kid had the nerve to interrupt a conversation about utility functions to ask the professor, “This might be a random question but… do you ever bring your guitar to class?” While this undoubtedly drew a few awkward chuckles, most kids in the room could only roll their eyes.
8. The Know-It-All
“Don’t show us your mind,” preaches one professor to his Political Science students each semester. Penn State students do not pay $28,000 a year — or more if you’re out-of-state — to learn from those with only a high school diploma; let the teacher teach. If you desperately need the teacher to know how well you understand the Napoleonic Era, then take a visit to his or her office hours. Trust me, the class doesn’t really care.
7. The Askhole
“The askhole is insistent on asking questions that pertain only to his or her own misunderstanding,” complains one my classmates. The askholes specialize in preying upon youthful teachers, slowly draining away useful class time as they ask dumb questions better left for one-on-one office hours. Their constant interruption of lecture may provide slight amusement to some, but to most only distracts and annoys.
6. The Smelly One
These students come in all shapes, sizes, and smells. No matter the variety, they surely cause a great deal of suffering for their classmates. 75 minutes is already a pretty long time, but when spent next to a 250-pound man fresh off a cardio session at IM who did not care to apply deodorant this morning, that time can quickly turn into an eternity. Tip: Be careful in the early afternoon hours, as you may end up trapped next to a kid with rancid onion breath or post-taco bar farts.
“Don’t be that kid who eats a tuna fish sandwich in class. I’m happy that you’re eating healthy, but at the same time you’re suffocating everyone around you with that cat food on a bun,” noted one observing peer.
5. The Frat-Star Who Won’t Shut Up
We get it, bro. You got fucked up last night. You got fucked up last week, too. In fact, we have listened to you have slightly different variations of the same conversation for the entire semester. Believe it or not, nobody cares. If you desperately need to discuss these matters with your pledge brother, lower your voice or take it outside. The sorority girls sitting near you are not impressed, and neither are we.
4. The Walking Illness
Many PSU students skip too much class, but a select few just can’t stay away. Incessant sneezing, hacking, coughing, and sniffling is not just annoying, but down right unsanitary. We all know what it feels like to be jammed next to the sick kid in a packed lecture hall or stuck listening to the symphony of coughing during an exam in Thomas.
3. The Group Project Slacker
Every PSU student has dealt with one of these at some point in his or her academic career. These students opportunistically search for ways to do as little work as possible in group project settings, often resorting to silly excuses as a means of avoiding the project. Oftentimes a good strategy is to assign them simple, easy busy work, such as creating citations, but even this can go awry. Approach with caution; sometimes it is best to just let them be, even as they collect an A for the PowerPoint you designed yourself.
2. The Unfunny Jokester
Ha..ha. That’s the typical sarcastic reaction in my head to these stand-up comedians disguised as college students. You usually find them sitting near the front of lecture halls, anxiously awaiting the next chance for a “funny” comment. Little do they know that the rest of the class finds them significantly less funny than they find themselves. While their jokes may range from slightly amusing to downright painful, we all wish they could just hold back their humor.
1. The Human Distraction
“How am I supposed to concentrate on physics when the kid right next to me is watching anime,” a classmate of mine asked. Laptops provide students of the 21st century with a great learning tool. Many of us could not survive without them. Unfortunately, some students use their personal computers for less-than-educational purposes during class. While browsing Facebook is no big deal, watching a video or playing a game really messes with those behind you. I kid you not, in my freshman Crim class a student even had the nerve to watch porn next to me one day! Porn! Come on man.
Honorable Mentions: The Warren Buffett wannabes found in Smeal and Econ classes; the girls who are too hot for guys around them to concentrate; the random 50-year olds that leave you wondering, “Why is he here?”