Onward Date: David Found His Valentine
For those of you who missed it, I was chosen as Onward State’s most eligible bachelor this Valentine’s Day. I’d like to preface this by thanking all those who applied, shared, and read my “dating profile.” After fielding countless applications in search of my one true Valentine, I did indeed go on a date this Valentine’s Day and I must say it went quite well! This was hands down the funniest thing I’ve ever been a part of, and will be hearing about it from friends and family for a long time.
Now, on to the good part.
My Valentine’s Day started later than usual, as the previous night’s festivities forced me to get a few extra hours of shuteye. After a quick shave, a nice hot shower, and a quick brush of the teeth, I was off to meet my date Natalie for our Valentine’s Day adventure. We had chosen Irving’s as our date spot for two reasons: Irving’s is my favorite place in State College and it’s relatively cheap, casual, and freaking awesome.
Flower in hand, I arrived at about 1:30 p.m. — a relatively early time for a date. However, there is a good reason behind this: Natalie is a Penn State basketball fan, and wanted to catch the game that night with time to socialize beforehand. This worked out perfectly because I had to cover the game anyway.
Natalie arrived shortly after I did, looking dazzling if I might add. We hopped in line to place our orders, and since Natalie had never been there before, I instantly began raving about Irving’s and its out-of-this-world breakfast sandwiches. After our food came — and the coffee I so desperately needed was poured — we went to a little table for two in what was the most romantic lunch date in the history of civilization. Basically, it was like the dinner scene from Lady and the Tramp mixed with the magic carpet ride Aladdin gave Jasmine. I’m serious.
Actually, Natalie and I engaged in a spirited conversation about — wait for it — Penn State basketball of all things. Being the passionate sports fan that I am, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. And trust me, Natalie isn’t your average run-of-the-mill fan; she knows her hoops. As it turns out, we shared similar opinions regarding the team, D.J. Newbill, and basically every other sports-related topic. We then progressed into a brief conversation about Christian Hackenberg, Penn State’s knight in shining armor. We shared stories, enjoyed a fantastic lunch, and had probably the greatest Valentine’s Day date ever.
After we finished eating, it was time to say our goodbyes and go our separate ways to get ready for the basketball game later that night. We finished our Valentine’s Day festivities with a selfie in front of Old Main.
Despite the heartbreaking basketball game, it was a fantastic Valentine’s Day. I had a ton of fun, and I hope that Natalie did as well. Natalie, thank you for being a great sport about this!
For the concerned folks out there, I will not be retiring my label as “Onward State’s Resident Stud.” To those rocking braces at the ripe age of 19, don’t let those orthodontic appliances hold you back! Instead, let them give you extraordinary swag and a mouth full of gold, just like the wise man A$AP Rocky once told me. You can still find true love, no matter what you have on your teeth.
*Also: Shout out to Joey Laure, Nick Bills, and Chris McGuirk for sending in three of the funniest applications I’ve seen in my life.
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No matter what else you choose, you’re legally obligated to take a graduation photo at the Lion Shrine.
Football season ticket holders are invited to town hall meetings to learn about parking and traffic changes for next season.
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