Apply To Be Onward State Stud David Abruzzese’s Valentine
February 14 is arguably the worst day of the year. If that date doesn’t ring any bells, it’s because you’re just as miserable as the rest of the world’s single, relationship-less population. Valentine’s Day exists purely for happy couples to rub their happiness in the rest of our faces.
If you’re a Penn State girl, I’m here to tell you that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be like that in 2015. I’m here to find Onward State sportswriter and certified stud, David Abruzzese a date. Believe me, Dave has no trouble in the lady department. In fact, his chill-to-pull ratio is on point.
David’s eligible bachelor status is so impeccable that Onward State has decided to help the young heartthrob by publicizing his search for the perfect valentine. Get in line, ladies. This is going to be a competitive race, but for one lucky girl, a shot at love with undisputed playboy David Abruzzese sits beyond the finish line.
Just in case you aren’t already sold on Dave, here’s a quick dating profile to further pique your interest:
Name: David Abruzzese
Age: 19 years old
Height/Weight: 6’1”, 165 lbs
Body Mass Index: 21.8
Interests: All sports — most importantly football, basketball, hockey, and golf. Love to ski, big coffee fan, prefer beer to liquor, love being outside, but also love just hanging around. Love to write as well. I’m pretty laid back, love to try new things, and I’m just a genuinely caring guy.
Likes: Eating at restaurants downtown, watching Penn State in pretty much anything, biking, watching Spongebob, making Spongebob memes, providing scorching hot takes on Penn State athletics, and pretending to actually enjoy Buffalo sports.
Dislikes: Being inside for too long, Boston sports (but if you happen to root for a Boston franchise, I suppose we can work around it).
What I’m looking for in a girl: I’m just looking for somebody who enjoys a good conversation as much as I do, someone who’s outgoing. If you’re Italian, that’s a major plus in my book. I don’t care if you’re in a sorority or not, just as long as you’re down to Earth and have a sense of humor.