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Long-Winded Keith Olbermann Issues Strange Apology

That was about as Olbermann as an apology can get.

In an analogy-driven apology, Keith Olbermann again apologized for his dumb comments about THON last week, announced no donation to THON but listed other donations he’s made, and seemed to deflect most of the blame to the pitfalls of Twitter, or what he equated to “batting practice.”

He also said he never clicked on the link attached to the tweet that stated this whole thing, which remains highly dubious. It was a strange apology of which we’re currently searching for video so you can capture its full essence, and we’ll update as soon as we get it. For now, here’s the cynosure:

“I may have seen the half link, I may not have seen it. Obviously, I didn’t click on the half link because I was in the middle of batting practice, and actually stopping to read something would have slowed me down in my desire to knock it and the person that sent it to me over the fence,” he rambled.

He said he would have retweeted it with a congratulations and his donation had he clicked on the link, but…

“This is a batting practice world now, and there’s no time for anything good, only fast. As fast and as resonant as the sound of the ball hitting the bat. That’s the position this can put you in.”

Olbermann said his bosses spent his days off trying to convince him to do something he “didn’t want to do.” Next, he noted that he never publicizes his donations to his favorite charities, St. Jude’s and Make-A-Wish, then said he has made more than 200 donations to the pair of charities since 2008.

He finished: “In my haste to win batting practice on Twitter, I’ve attached the word pitiful [to charity]. As I tweeted last week, I’m sorry for the Penn State tweets, stupid and immature. But I’m much more sorry about batting practice. So for me, batting practice ends, and as quixotic as this may seem to you, I hope you will join me in trying to end it for all of us, so we can get back to what matters.”

This apology is tough to decipher, sure, but that last bit seems like he’s apologizing more for the institution of Twitter itself than for his tweets. Furthermore, he was careful not to apologize to the students he called pitiful, merely the charity to which he attached the word. He couldn’t help himself but to accuse “some Penn Staters” of prioritizing “football statistics over the awful legacy of Jerry Sandusky” (whatever that means). And though it sounded like he was about to donate to THON, he never announced a donation after mentioning his previous donations — which is perfectly fine, but this whole thing was just bizarre.

UPDATE: Here’s the video.

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About the Author

Tim Gilbert

Former Managing Editor of this site, now just makes lots of #content for it from the Phyrst’s Table 69. Senior from Philadelphia. First-generation Penn Stater. I might go to law school after this, but I might not, too. “For the Glory” is in my email signature because I’m a douche. [email protected] is my email if you want to tell me why I suck. Alternatively, you can call me out on Twitter @OlGilb.


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