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Overheard At New Student Orientation

With a majority of campus gone for the summer, State College’s inhabitants are few and far between. There are students taking classes, those working various jobs and internships, and of course the rotation of freshmen coming through for New Student Orientation. With orientation occurring almost the entire summer, it’s hard to avoid one of these aspiring Penn Staters clad with their iconic lanyards and drawstring bags. With eyes full of wonder and heads full of questions, these freshmen have a lot to say, and even more to ask about the place they’ll soon call home.

So, without further adieu, we present Overheard: New Student Orientation Edition.

Girl coming out of ID+ office with her mom: “They didn’t tell us that they were going to take our picture today! I would have worn something nicer.”
Mom to her daughter: “I told you not to wear that. Every time you swipe your ID now, just remember that I told you so.”

Guy in cargo shorts to his parents: “Just warning you both right now, you’re going to be seeing a lot of zeros on my bank statement this year and that’s not because I’ll be making a lot of money.”

Girl who just dropped and cracked her iPhone: “I haven’t even started college yet and my life is already a mess.”
Girl’s little sister: “Might as well quit while you’re ahead and drop out now then.”

Sorority girl to her friend as they’re going up the stairs: “Oh my god, they don’t even go here yet and they’re already annoying me! I wish they’d stop asking me for directions.”
Her friend in matching letters: “Relax! Let’s go to Starbucks so you can stop being so cranky, you’re scaring the freshmen.”

Father pointing out student legal services booth to his son: “Knowing you son, you’re probably going to need their legal advice.”
Son, smiling mischievously: “I just won’t get caught then.”

Guy showing his parents and freshman sister around: “If you think the ID line is bad, just wait till you go to THON.”
Naive freshman: “What’s THON?”
Guy shaking his head, embarrassed: “I’ve taken people over to our place to can AND you’re about to go here, how do you not know?”
Freshman sister: “I thought you just brought your friends over just so you can eat a lot and play video games.”

Girl passing the line near the ID+ office: “I feel so old now! Look how tiny they are! We definitely were not that short when we were freshmen.”
Guy friend in Snap Back: “You literally just finished your first year and you’re wearing heels.”

Guy talking to his friend in a Devil’s jersey: “When is curfew tonight? I’m trying to go to a party!”
Guy in Devil’s jersey: “You’re going to get kicked out before you even start classes here.”

Girl looking at Starbucks: “I have a feeling this place is going to be my best friend…and I don’t even like coffee.”

Guy in Sperrys to his friend, after hearing Starbucks girl: “And thus, a basic chick was born! She’ll be a Starbucks lover in no time, just like in that Taylor Swift song.”
Guy’s friend: “I hope you’re not serious…you’re joking right?”
Sperrys guy: “Wait those really aren’t the lyrics?”

Enthusiastic freshman in a PSU shirt: “I can’t wait until the fall! I have a countdown timer on my phone and everything.”
Mom wearing an alumni shirt: “You’re going to have so much fun here, these were the best years of my life.”
Her freshman son, pointing to his little brother: “What about when you had us?”
Mom looking at them, smiling sarcastically: “Like I said, these were the best four years of my life!”

Guy waiting in line for Burger King: “I can’t believe they have Chick-Fil-A, Burger King, Sbarro, AND a Panda Express here! It’s like Penn State wants me to get the freshman 15.”

Welcome Penn State Class of 2019!

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About the Author


Posts from the all-student staff of Onward State.


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